Thank God For Giggles

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My best friend is near death.
I wrote this for you and for all of us. I’ve explained why below.
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The small meeting room was packed tight. I was giving a seminar and was in the middle of something fairly serious when the door opened.

In walked this radiant blond woman. She paused, as she realized she was the focus of our attention. The door was to the front, so she suddenly found herself facing a whole room full of people, all staring back at her.

Her date was saving the only seat, which was on the other side of the room. She had no choice but to come between me and the audience, excusing herself as she went. She also had a nervous giggle, which was infectious and continual as she squeezed through the tight quarters.

Of course, I welcomed her and paused until she was seated. The audience’s entire attention was still focused on her, which clearly embarrassed her, and which caused her to giggle even more.

Her date was peeved and was obviously asking her to settle down. By that time all of us, except for him, were smiling too. All I had to do was look in her direction and the giggles would start again. She giggled a lot that night.

Because of that seminar and her giggles, Shirley and I met and later started dating. She was a single mom to three kids, who were just extraordinary. I fell in love with the whole family.

Later she and I realized that we that while we should be dating we should not dating with each other. It was hard.

We went our separate ways for about six months, but then we became friends. Then we became best friends, which we’ve been for over 30 years now.

Not only has Shirley been my best friend, she’s been my mentor, coach, confidant, and as close as any member of my blood family. I love her children as my own.

I heard a definition of a friend once, which is someone who knows everything about you but likes you anyway. That’s us.

She became a highly respected Buddhist meditation teacher. Before that she was in sales and marketing and was always the number one sales leader. How she did that with three kids and chronic pain, which she’s suffered with for years, is a tribute to her spirit.

She was diagnosed with cancer over a year ago. It was slow moving and we all knew that she had such power that no cancer would dare move fast. But then suddenly, it did. We just got word a few weeks ago that it has metastasized on her liver. She’s been hospitalized but then chose to go home under hospice care.

She’s helped many people with her teachings and her friendship. She is loved by people all over the world, some of whom only had a few minutes with her personally at retreats and meetings. The phones haven’t stopped ringing.

She’s always touched people. She’s automatically shown interest and compassion towards others. When she walked through a mall, all she would have to do would be to look at a child with her big blue eyes and the child would immediately reach out to her.

I saw it over and over again. Within moments she’d have even the smallest baby giggling, which was mirrored with her own infectious giggle. Pretty soon everyone within earshot would be giggling too.

We talked on the phone yesterday and even in her weakened state, we had fun reminiscing about our first meeting. If she hadn’t been late, if she hadn’t giggled, if I hadn’t been so charmed by her, we’d have never met. I would have missed these years and the love of her extraordinary family and friends.

For as long as I can recall we never ended a phone call or parted without saying, “I love you.”

She is at peace with her situation, though her pain is hard to control, her meditation practice helps. She feels no fear of death, but leaving family and friends is the hardest. Hard for us all.

As I made my reservations to visit her this last time, I’ve been sitting back and thinking about our conversation yesterday and all those wonderful and even tough times we’ve shared together.

What a blessing.

I’m sharing this with you because I want to encourage you, as an old friend of mine once did for me, that you should never hesitate to tell those you love that you love them.

Make it a point. Do it today. Express your gratitude and your love, even if it feels a bit embarrassing. Encourage them to do the same.

Thank God for giggles.

Thank God for Shirley.