PowerUp - Why didn't anyone ever tell me how insane it was to go into business with my husband? Or for that matter, for him desiring to go into business with me for over 10 years? True, we're both crazy. What I'm finding so far is that it's what makes the journey that much more interesting and rewarding, actually. On a good day, that is. And such good advice is hard to find. For those of us who do decide to go into business together as husband and wife, it does not come plentiful enough! I've only come across less than a handful of helpful, credible sources.
One is Meg Cadoux Hirshberg's column, "Balancing Acts" in Inc. magazine. Her helpful advice for married business partners ranges from a variety of topics such as the hardships of a marriage when starting a business, what happens when one spouse chooses business over family, and the challenges of loving, honoring and reporting to your spouse. It's nice to hear from a woman's perspective how to handle the ups and downs of a business with your partner.
A second, indirect source was while working through our way through Rich Dad's Entrepreneurship Coaching program. Although there was not any specific mention of a helpful direction for married partners to grow their business towards, there was a specific concept which struck me back to sanity. There is no room for emotions in business--a tough concept to grasp, indeed. Our emotions are supposed to remain freestanding from our business development, daily operations and of course, cash flow. No emotional attachments whatsoever. For women, that may be a more difficult adjustment to make. Don't let your emotions make your business decisions for you.
Finally, I found business advice when I least expected it, through a #1 New York Times Best Seller, "The Love Dare," a book by Stephen and Alex Kendrick with Lawrence Kimbrough, from the hit movie,
Fireproof. It's about re-establishing a loving relationship when you stop expecting the other person to do something. Instead, you start doing what you want to have happen. Then over time, the other person makes it happen, too. We watched the movie at least two years ago, then ordered the book right away. I do admit, we haven't finished reading it--which could explain why our roller coaster ride of a lifetime is so bumpy at times. Like most of us, we have much to learn and room to grow.
So, speaking on behalf of my personal experience building a business together with my husband and with the support from the three sources I mentioned above, here are the 3 most crucial concepts to consider when couples go into business together:
1.) Know Who's Boss & Accept It's Still Not You
You may have left your employment to become your own boss, but it's not necessarily the case in reality. Let me explain. Some believe a perfect marriage is everything 50/50, right? Wrong. At times it's 60/40 or 80/20. But that doesn't mean one spouse suddenly steps up as the boss that everyone talks about behind their back. It simply means someone does take the lead at certain times or projects. Are they the boss at that time? Still, not even close. It means there's some trust between each other that helps holding one another accountable for what needs to be done. There's no one else around to hold you two accountable for the business, unless of course, you have a Rottweiler-Pit Bull named Zoey Hannah like we do, who's our mediator--at times growling at the one doing most of the arguing. Moments like this remind us to keep our frustration in check and remember why we went into business together in the first place.
2.) Practice Patience & Kindness
When love becomes a firm handshake, it's time to rekindle. When you're in business mode, it's best not to be in lovers mode. When in lover's mode, it's best not to be in business mode. Yet, it's so easy to get all mixed up. We must remember we love each other and be pleasant towards one another while knowing the website proposal is due tomorrow morning for our client and it hasn't been finished--all at the same time. Express what you want and need, but do it in a kind way. In a love and business relationship, it's easy to forget to be nice sometimes because you're comfortable with who you married and stressed because these are new experiences with each other. It's the little acts of kindness that matter, even as simple as being patient enough not to talk over your partner's words. Believe it or not, "please" and "thank you" may often be overlooked--say them often and mean it.
3.) Separate Your Biz vs. Personal Life
A neck rub in the middle of a follow-up call and scheduling an appointment with a client is NOT necessarily appreciated. Or sending a Facebook message ("real quick") in the middle of the day to a family member or friend is not justified just because you can. At the very least, not while you're still practicing business discipline before you've received all the profits you've ever wanted. When it's time to do business, it's time to do business. And when it's time to do the dishes, it's time to do the dishes. Structure your day accordingly. And talking about a new way to organize the goals and tasks of the business during the most intimate times you may spend together is not appreciated either--especially when you've decided to actually not work the business for once. Turn off your mind to be turned on in the bedroom. When it's time to um... well, it's time to...
I'm sure with time, this list will get longer. But that will only benefit our business and marital relationship for the better, as well hopefully, the next set of lovers who become business partners. Every bit helps for a successful marriage and a successful business.
If you're a husband or wife thinking of going into business with your other half, or you already are in business with each other, know this: we're greater in numbers and it's great to count on others who know what it's like to do what you're doing. We host a monthly business owner networking event focused on a new business topic each time as we share our experiences and tips in business. Ask us how you can attend this free, unique event in Tucson that's unlike any other. Visit us at
BEssential and review our "Promotions and Events" area for the "Small Business Breakfast Club." We look forward to a mutually beneficial business relationship. Even husbands and wives in business together can
BE... empowered.