The Best Way To Talk About Breast Cancer

While I was busy jet-setting around Miami with Philip Michael Thomas as his publicist during the days of Miami Vice, or flying over the French Alps in a 4-seater plane, having breast cancer was the furthest thing away from my mind. But in 2003, it crashed my party and became my new reality. Almost five years after my diagnosis, I am more than a survivor – I am a Victor!

I have been traveling the country hosting Tea Parties for Breast Cancer Awareness to share my story. The mission: to encourage women to be more open about this condition so that we learn to have a positive outlook about life and understand that early detection is key.

My mother had five daughters and four of us had and survived breast cancer; and we all had a different type. I had ductal carcinoma en situ, a stage-1 breast cancer. While stage 1 is early, it is still traumatic because 1) the prescribed treatment is generally breast removal; and 2) you are at once faced with your own mortality – not something you rush to. I don’t know anyone who eagerly welcomes the Grim Reaper with a handshake – Hello Mr. Reaper. Nice to see you!
God gave me the “medicine” of humor to help me survive and my practice of Native American spirituality or “medicine” helped the process.

“Raining Deer” is a Native American name. “Medicine” as referenced herein refers to an element of a culture. In Native American tradition “medicine” has different connotations. In western society medicine is thought of as a substance containing healing properties that, when ingested provides relief from an illness or the symptoms of an illness. In our culture medicine means different things – the innocence of a child, music, dance, the ability to cook good food, creativity, the ability to make people smile or laugh – all containing healing properties. I should have used it sooner on myself. Maybe I would not have gotten breast cancer.

Wow – what a statement! As a practitioner of Native American medicine, I know that spiritual imbalance can lead to a manifestation of a physical imbalance which can cause dis-ease. I’m no genius, but I can pinpoint with great accuracy what was going on with me at the time I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and dare I say – I probably brought it on myself. Yes I had a family history, but if you are familiar with the law of attraction, “The Secret,” the “you are what you eat” premise, then you understand how we can create our own imbalance and become dis-eased as a result.

Up until that time I lived a great life. Miami was paradise for me and I enjoyed an exciting fast-paced life working with certain celebrities. But, after moving back north in 2001, I was in a state of flux: uncertainty, disorganization with my living status, I was disappointed with a love relationship; I worried about elderly relatives who had no children to care for them, in addition to being conce
ed with my own mother’s health, my son’s adjustment to a new school in a new state, not to mention finances were not great. My diet suffered and consequently so did I as a result of stress. I should have realized that internalizing my frustration could lead to disaster, but I was so engrossed in feeling that I had been wronged or questioning whether I had made poor choices in my life, that I moved totally away from my center. I didn’t realize it until I began to write & talk about my journey with cancer. Only then did the healing process get fully underway.

One thing that helps you deal with a diagnosis of breast cancer is knowing that nothing drastic will change in your life as a result of it. I had an officer manager named Felice who introduced me to her friend who was also a survivor. Moreover, Felice assured me that my job was secure – the best medicine at the time. Unless you are independently wealthy, are married or have a mate who takes care of everything -- or your name is Oprah, you need a job.

I thank God for the medicine of humor that helped to heal my spirit. I use it now so that the times for tears are few and far in between. I am also thankful to be able to share my journey in book form so that more women can be informed as well as entertained.

In my next article, I’ll review the rites of passage I talk about in BCV which are lifestyle issues relating to the total experience.
Raining Deer’s Books: BCV – Rites of Passage for Breast Cancer Victors (Author House 2006); 10 Tips To Avoid Breast Cancer (Unless It’s In the Genes) (Author House 2007); T-Time: A Rites of Passage Manual for the Adolescent Female (Author House 2005)
Raining Deer, also known as Jeanette Stephens-El, is a breast cancer survivor/Life Coach and native of South Jersey. She lived in Miami, Florida for 24 years before moving back north in 2001. During her prolific stay in Miami, she wrote for several regional newspapers; was creator and editor-in-chief of Southern Dawn Magazine; and publicist for Philip Michael Thomas (MIAMI VICE). She can be reached via email, rainingdeer@rainingdeer.com and her website:; www.rainingdeer.com where information can be obtained for ordering her books (www.authorhouse.com).
Raining Deer’s Appearances for Breast Cancer Awareness (TP denotes Tea Party):
• 2007 Harlem Book Fair, Harlem, New Yorkn • Art Sanctuary Annual Book Fair, Philadelphia, Pennsylvanian • La Unique Books & Cultural Center, Camden, New Jersey (TP)
• Jakmel Art Gallery, Miami, Floridan • Law Firm of Buchanan Ingersoll & Rooney, Philadelphia, PA (TP)
• Wesley Chapel-William C. Brown Library, Atlanta, Georgia (TP)
• Community Radio 89.3 FM WRFG, Atlanta, Georgian • African American Research Library, Fort Lauderdale, Florida (TP)
• Pan African Art & Book Expo, Miami, Floridan • Aug. 4, 2007 Nu Unity Day Festival, Mizpah (Atlantic County), NJ (TP)
• Oct. 12/13, 2007 Sandhills Regional Medical Center, Hamlet, NC (TP)
• Oct. 20, 2007, Radio Interview with Denise Wilson-El, host , Moultrie, Georgian • Nov. 1, 2007 Willingboro Library – Sister Can You Help Me Support Group, Willingboro, NJ (TP)
• Nov. 8, 2007 Cooper Cancer Institute - Support Group, Camden, NJ (TP)