The Blowfly That Trapped The Guilty Conscience

The Blowfly That Trapped The Guilty Conscience My mother recently related a funny story about how she is now the proud owner of a blowfly trap as a result of developing a guilty conscience when faced with a dilemma over a salmon pie. In preparation for a dear old school friend’s visit my mother prepared a simple lunch comprising the salmon pie and salad. But what she hadn’t counted on was two dirty big blowflies flying out of the pie’s dish just moments before her friend’s arrival. What to do? There was nothing else in the fridge for lunch and no time to duck into town to purchase new ingredients. Her friend’s arrival forced the decision but it would be one that would haunt her conscience for days and see her make some rather rash purchases. Mum carefully sliced out portions of the pie for her friend and herself and not saying a word about the offending blowies, she served up lunch and tried not to grimace as she slowly forced herself to eat the pie with a smile on her face, which her friend exclaimed throughout the meal that she was enjoying immensely. The weight of that decision on her conscience almost caused Mum to blurt out the truth then and there, but she felt that now that the deed was done and the pie was eaten there was no point in making a fuss and psychologically causing any unnecessary stomach upsets. But the following day, with her conscience as heavy as a large elephant, Mum began to worry about her friend’s health so she called under the pretence of checking the title and author of a book they’d discussed over the fated salmon pie lunch. Disconcertingly for Mum, the first thing her friends asked was: ‘How are you feeling today?’ Mum was somewhat taken aback as she hadn’t been expecting the conversation to be around the very topic that she was feeling guilty about, quickly replying: ‘I’m fine, why are you not feeling well?” Mum said you could have heard a pin drop, or in this case her elephant-sized conscience hitting the floor, when her friend said: “No I’m not’. Mum nearly died but before she gave it all away, her friend continued, saying: ‘I’ve been feeling this flu come on for days.’ So while Mum was saved by the flu, she decided that the stress of the situation was almost too much to bare and soon found herself at the local hardware store asking for blowfly traps. The young shop assistant looked at my mother blankly, like there were a few kangaroos loose in her top paddock. To my mother’s horror, the assistant asked: ‘what’s a blowfly and how would you trap them, do you need a gun?”rnMum almost started to panic but she caught sight of the store’s owner who was more of her vintage and before too long she was in front of a section that stocked an array of traps for flies, blowflies and other pesky, potential friendship busting insects. So now Mum has the cheerful, or maybe not so cheerful, task of emptying the trap, which she says fills very quickly each day. But as long as the fly trap is full, Mum’s conscience is empty.