The Breakup Binge: 3 Thoughts for My Heartbroken Self

You may or you may not know that I’m in the after-effect processing stage of a breakup right now. And if you’ve seen any chick flick since the history of ever, you know that this is usually a pretty emotional time – one that’s also usually accompanied by enough sugar to make even my sweet tooth hurt.

I had presumably my final conversation with my ex last night; the kind of conversation in which you realize that things are never going to work out, that you’re two people who just aren’t meant to be together. That kind of conversation can be heart-breaking. I know I certainly felt like I was giving up, even if by all logical and rational means I knew that it just wasn’t gonna happen.

After we hung up, I found myself in the kitchen… next to a bag of potato chips. I’m not really a big fan of chips, especially not the Utz kind. But I was in a funk and I just sat at my computer deleting pictures of the two of us and shoveling chips into my face. I’m sure you can picture it: Poring over old photos, reminiscing, munching away. Crunch, crunch, crunch. Salty, fatty, crispiness taking over my taste buds – as if any amount of potato chips could wash away my pain.

Hold up. This is a familiar scene in my life: Things aren’t going right and I turn to whatever food is present and available in large quantity. Maybe you can relate.
So in mid-handful, I put the chips down. I pushed the bag across the table and told myself, “No amount of potato chips is ever going to make me feel like enough.”

HOLY. EFFING. SHIT. No amount of potato chips is ever going to make me feel like enough.

Call me a bit slow on the uptake, but this is a revelation. Food is never going to make me a better person. It’s an inanimate object, for chrissakes. It has no control over me or my emotions. Food is never going to fill a void in my heart – not now, not ever.

Fast-forward to today and here’s my advice to myself of last night (this applies to any heartbroken girl out there and pretty much any other instance where you might emotionally eat):

1. Food can’t, and won’t, make things better. Food cannot fill a void in your heart or in your soul. Grieve, if you must; cry if the tears come; scream away your pain. It is OK to feel the emotion you’re experiencing.

2. Emotions have to be felt. Eating might make them go away for a time, but eventually they’re going to resurface. Better to experience them now, in conjunction with the original trigger, than to experience them at some later point.

3. You are enough. Without food, without a guy, without anybody else telling you so – YOU ARE ENOUGH! You can find love, happiness, and peace within yourself. Happiness doesn’t come in a bag of potato chips (or a box of cookies, or a pint of ice cream, or... you get my point), it comes from the heart.

Have you ever experienced a breakup where you felt like this? What did YOU do? What advice would you have for yourself from back then?