THE BRIGHTNESS OF SINGLENESS

Most times human beings tends to focus only on the disadvantages of their current phase or stage of life rather than to appreciate its merits and use it to attain some level of comfort and satisfaction as they prepare for the preceding stages knowingly fully well that nothing is worth getting worried about.rnDuring my days in the Secondary school, I sometimes have a secret feeling that we that attended unisex schools are missing some things and experiences that our colleagues in mix schools are enjoying, because of the lack of inter-sex relationship in my school. So I studied with this fate throughout my secondary school days. I was very happy on my graduation day not only because of the completion of college exams ” but in the anticipation and curiosity of what a mixed class that I would be in any tertiary institution I found myself and hence I would be enjoying the inter-sex relationships. but little did I know I was not totally right.rnDuring my first year in tertiary institution I saw a significant number of my mates been withdrew out of school most of which we were not surprise because we know our they so much devote themselves to their relationship with their partner (s) which resulted in lack of focus and concentration in their academics, we call them different names e.g. 5 &6, LOVERBOY (GIRL), LOVEBIRD, ETC. But funny enough on their students profile their marital status reads single,. Which gat me asking what singleness really means?, does it means am dating someone, flirting around, searching, attached, seriously engaged, unmarried, single and satisfied, etc. I really wish we this option could be included in the official marital status column because they best described some people’s status and not the usual single or married. I am not against inter-sex relationship but against the addiction and obsession of nowadays youth to relationship and dating stuffs that it ruins them of enjoying the first and best phase of their life just because of infatuation, fallacies, lusts etc (all in the name of big boys and girls)rnA research revealed that an average human being has a average life span of 75years (that means you). So to be fair to oneself your first 25years should be centered around you (discovering your purpose), the next 25years around us (your family) while the last 25years around them (humanity, visions). rnI know some would say “dating at youthful age gives experiences needed during marriage” then let me ask: when I child fails an exam what happens? Would he be afraid when next he take it or assume he had experience? Since we know we would have more than enough time for dating, coupling, kissing, hugging, during marriage ( I even learnt one would get tired of them). So why letting this acts robb us from enjoying and appreciating been single.rnYou are single when you think and plan your life straight without unnecessary influence, (you are free to go anywhere anytime without anyone calling to ask you those ‘WH’ questions, you won’t be afraid of been reckless with your mobile phone. ( I have a friend that secured his sim card, messages, contacts, dialed and missed calls with password, he nearly password his games) what a bondage.rnThere can be many advantages to being single if we just stop and think about it. It’s easy to say that there are no advantages to being single if all we see are the negatives so lets look at some things I found interesting about been a single person.rnFirstly Freedom and independence:- Brandy 2010, “what I felt been human being is, is having the freedom to be yourself not caring what other people think just having the freedom to be you and not been afraid, because if you are not yourself then who are you?. Been single means you have more freedom you answer to no one. If ypu\are single you don’t have ti let anyone know when you decide to go anywhere, it allows for spontaneity in you life. Being single allows you to be your own person and really just don as you please and also allowsyou to make your own choice. (Guys you wouldn’t have to worry about missing EPL and UEFA matches just because she wants you to come around, especially for guys being single forces you to do things for yourself, like cooking and cleaning. Being skilled at different things makes you a complete, independent, well rounded person, which is a great quality to have, and one that will be noticed if you decide to seek a relationship latter on.rnMoreover you gain more control over you time, when ask why am on of those that finish my task/assignments early? I replied: I HAVE ALL MY TIME TO ONLY MYSELF. We live in a busy society. You probably hear people complain that they never have enough time, these people probably are not single, when you are single, you may have more time for yourself and things that you like to do you can set your own schedule, be with friends, family, more time for hobbies. Being single gives you more time to better yourself. You can use the extra time to work on your career and other voluntary activities or take a class for job or grade point advancements or just for personal enrichment. Because relationship require a significant amount of time.rnIn addition to freedom, and time, relationships also require money and a lot of it. Being single gives you full financial freedom. You will be in control of where every penny you spend goes. Guys think of of the amount you’ll save by not having to buy credits for her, pay for dinners, bb subscriptions, movies, and buying gifts all kinds of present for birthdays, valentine’s day, xmas etc. being single may also make it easier to plan for saving money for the future and unforeseen circumstances which I call finnancil intelligence.rnMoreover you won’t have to tolerate another’s annoying habits lets’s face it all of us have quirks about ourselves that someone else finds annoying, being single frees you from this issues. Guys you wouldn’thave to worry about finging a fuzzy toilet seat cover or your room set-up and arrangements. Ladies you wouldn’t have to constantly nag someone to take care of dishes pilling up in thr sink or sweeping/mopping of the floor or taking out the trash being single allows you to give you patience a rest and live in a non0frustrating environment.rnThe only disgusting habits you’ll have to put up with are you own.rnNeedless ton say being single allows you to stabilize your emotions when a person is in a relationship, especially when it is just starting your emotions can go completely out of control. Your mind can go a mile a minute(even while in class or church) constantly thinkinh things like, does she/he loves me? Did I said the right thing? Ehat should I do now? When next should I visit, call or text? The list is endless being single means that you won’t have to worru about going through a heart-wrenching breakup and lastly being single can give you a deeper awareness of who you really are, not someone as defined by a relationship. I discovered that during the initial stages of relationships you try to m,ake yourself look as good as possible to impress the other person and often find yourself doing or saying thins you normally wouldn’t do or say. Being single allows you be yourself and develop who you really are.rnAccepting being single is a big step in accepting who you are and giving yourself room to enjoy life and all it holds instead of constantly concentrating on what’s missing, be a confident guy or lady, who is ablout his or her business and would not have time for time wasters only the truly serious onces will be able to get your attention. The sooner everyone admits that theirs is more to life than dating the sooner we single can have some peace, we will all get married at some point, but in the main time there are otherthings to get on with: there are places to visit, certificates and qualifications to get positions to fill and money to be made.rnSo please nest time urge take you to pray about my single status kindly include my need for a higher grade point and a bigger account balance in such prayers. (thank you in advance).