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The early days of dating: keep building the romance

Topic: DatingPublished July 22, 2011

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You’ve had a few dates and things are going well. Either or both of you might even have dropped hints that you are no longer setting up dates with other people. You’re in the early days of romance, a crucial time.

The number one priority is to nurture the budding relationship, or keep fanning the flames if it’s going really well. The way you can achieve this is to... keep having great dates.

Datingdoc.net’s top 6 tips for the early days of dating

Chaps, when it’s your turn to choose where to go, pick wisely. Don’t suggest meeting at stations if you can absolutely help it – some women hate this (it’s something to do with being seen under unflattering strip lights!). Unfathomable creatures, women. If you live in London and are stuck for venue ideas, check out our venue guide, coming soon.
• Do suggest a meal as a date. Alcoholic hazes can give a warm glow to the early days of dating but can lead to fractiousness – and you need to see how you both get on when sober.
• Cinema can be quite a good way of relaxing the pressure and giving you an early shared experience.
• Gentlemen, pay compliments. Important. Women like you to notice what they are wearing. “Wow, you look nice!” is all that’s required as soon as you meet.
• Try fun and bonding activities, eg bowling, ice-skating, punting.
• Day dates can be good once you have a few evenings under your belts. An afternoon walk, followed by a cosy pub.
• Keep the contact up between dates but don’t overdo it. You need some texts or emails to tide you over, but don’t go crazy in the early days of dating. Not everyone is mad on new technology and social media. We think the onus is on the man to maintain some level of contact between early dates. A text or email after the first date saying you enjoyed it and would like to do it again is the best start.

After subsequent dates, texts afterwards to say you had a nice time and to check the lady got home okay are good manners. But you don’t need dissertations between dates and you definitely don’t need to become Facebook friends.

The early days of dating: what to avoid
• Pressure: to do anything, especially sex. Boys, think seduction, not sledgehammer. Everyone has a different pace.
• Flashness. Unless you are definitely both of same mindset, champagne bars and high living can make some people feel inadequate and uncomfortable. And poor.
• Lack of planning. Do your research about venues. If you have left the other person to pick the venue, there is nothing wrong with googling a few alternatives to have up your sleeve if their choice turns out to be hosting a death metal karaoke night (unless that is the reason they picked it). And just because that pub you like was brilliant on a Thursday night doesn’t mean it’s going to be buzzing on a Sunday evening. Sundays have their own rules so make sure your chosen place is going to have a bit of life to it.
• Transport problems. Make sure you don’t get out of your comfort zone and find yourself stranded in a place that is hard to get home from. Until you are ready to get intimate, central meeting points in your town or city are usually the best way in the early stages of dating.

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