The Forgiveness Challenge

Forgiveness means to cease to feel angry or bitter towards (a person) or about (an offense).rnWe cannot achieve true happiness, emotional and spiritual peace, or wellness if we cannot forgive ourselves and others. Forgiving yourselfrn• Even if you helped to create the negativity in your own life, nothing is more important than the ability to forgive yourself. You can: • Take responsibility and move forward: “For our transgressions are with us; and as for our inequities, we know them.” - Isaiah 59:12. Acknowledging that you may have done something to disrupt your flow of positive action releases you from the past an allows you to deal in the present. • Give yourself a chance at defeating the negativity. • Take the power away from others so they cannot constantly remind you of the negativity. • Accept yourself and what you have done in the past as part of your life experience, but not as the essence of you. • Reflective Thinking - Is there something you have done over which you have a tough time forgiving yourself? Why is it so difficult? Forgiving OthersrnDo you have a difficult time forgiving people, especially those who hurt you in some way? If so why? If not, how do you avoid it? rnTo hold a grudge is to hold on to ill will. Why do we do it? There is no bigger obstacle on the road to peace and wellness than holding a grudge. in many cases we need assistance. I needed help when I was harboring some ill feelings towards individuals I felt let me down. Where did I go? The following quote by Ralph McGill - about Eleanor Roosevelt - encourages not giving into revenge, but forgiveness: “She got even in a way that was almost cruel. She forgave them.” The Benefits of Forgivenessrn A. Allows you to return your focus on YOU.rna. We forgive our betrayers for us, not for them B. Encourage others to forgive and be kind. a. We can choose to be a positive example of love and kindnessrn C. Gives you a better chance to heal and to obtain wellness. a. We allow ourselves to grow and move forward rather than dwellingrn D. Gives you more time. a. We use our time more productivelyrn E. Gives you peace of mind. a. We minimize the amount of worry and regret in our lives Take the Forgiveness Challenge Below is list of scenarios. Reflect on how you have or would deal with each and how long it did or would take you to get over it. This will give you a baseline assessment of your ability to let things go. Can you forgive? • People you love forget your birthday. • Your spouse forgets your wedding anniversary. • You see a good friend at a party and he or she acts as if they do not know you. • Someone whom you care about spreads nasty rumors about you that can destroy your reputation. • Your partner is unfaithful. • You find out that someone you love did something bad that you never knew about. • Someone takes away something or someone very dear to you. • You get into trouble with the law and your “friends” and/or loved ones turn their backs on you. • Someone very close to you breaks several promises. • You are very sick but no one visits you at the hospital. • You have car trouble at 4 a.m. in the morning and no one will come. • A coworker sends an email joke about your personal business. • A close friend gives you a bad check to repay a loan. • Your children forget Mother’s or Father’s Day. • You have been replaced at work by someone you brought into the company.