The Hardest to Forgive is You

About two weeks ago I saw an interview with Sully (captain of the Hudson River flight) and I was surprised to hear him speak of forgiveness. He was asked what has been the hardest thing about this experience and he said, “Forgiving myself.”

“What?” cried the incredulous reporter, “Forgive yourself? You saved 155 lives!”

“It was so difficult in those first few days of wondering - could I have done it better?” Sully matter-of-factually stated.

The reporter questioned, “Could you have done better?”

“No, I did it right,” Sully replied. And then I was reminded how we are all the same – vulnerable to imperfection. Sully needed to be perfect – not from some hidden dysfunction, but in a desire to do everything right…as that is what his job requires. What if he was not perfect? People would have died.

I heard this statistic about the same time about those who survive a catastrophe – 10:80:10. The top ten are the natural leaders – those who become calm under stress and can guide the group. 80% are the average response, stunned immobile at first, but can be saved if a natural leader takes charge. The bottom ten ignore the twister coming down the lane and continue gardening in the heavy breeze – no need for watering!

I know in my own life I battle perfect - my desire to do nothing wrong. Of course this begs the question – who is judging it right or wrong? Because the God I know is a loving God, with arms outstretched to this stumbling, bumbling prodigal daughter. So who is doing the judging? Oh, the troublemaker again – the ego.

The ego knows it is so easy to keep the doubts, the nagging questions swirling round. No, the hard work is forgiving and moving on. It is within the forgiveness of self that transformation and healing can occur.

Just look at Sully, by forgiving himself his imagined imperfections, he allows others to heal by graciously accepting their humble thanks and praise. With the mantle of hero resting gently on his shoulders, he creates the opportunity for those he saved to experience the full magnitude of transformation – a second chance…

And who knows what wonders shall unfold from this experience, maybe the passengers will love a little deeper, hug a little longer and maybe, just maybe find their own forgiveness. n