Article

The Harsh Effects Of Separation and Divorce On Men

Topic: DivorcePublished February 16, 2011

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The effects of divorce on men have been skillfully documented, but unusually not advertised quite as prevelentlyas the consequences on females. Females of course struggle and go through many of the same problems men go through and many special troubles as well, but the damage done to the mental health of men is just not recognised as much.. Possibly society simply has the quaint thought that males will muddle through as we always do, as if it is just in our nature to endure devoid of any troubles (as you know this is a pile of BS). Or if you are a cynic, then you might charge a concentrated effort of the media and feminist groups who want to promote their own gender and suppress the male gender. I am not that cynical myself, but i believe that this is a part of the problem. Then of course there is simply us husbands and our often immovable disposition to not get help and not converse about these things. All together it adds a lack of help for husbands going through a rough marital breakdown. So lets take the first step and get some information out there on the effects of marital breakdown on males. Struggling Emotionally This is the biggest aspect of the whole damned catastrophe of break up. Losing our marriage takes a somber toll on a guys emotional state as most guys tend to tie everythign they have to thier marriage even if it was not a perfect union. Some ways this can come out are: * Depressive disordersrn* Angerrn* Resentmentrn* Suicidal Thoughtsrn* Emasculationrn* Worry & Panic You can now see, if a man is experiencing a number of these pitfalls his mental condition, and his whole life, will end up being a complete mess. Taking it on the chin and just moving on cannot be done so easily when you don’t have your home, kids, and a lover and partner to be supportive of you. The rug gets pulled out from under a mans feet and the more they try to hide these mental pitfalls the worse they get. Money hinderances I consider this is secondary to the emotional hinderances but perceptibly maintenance, child support, the loss of half your assets or more, and all other expenses involved in marital breakdown affect a man hard. If the man was the main breadwinner for the family this can also leave a bitter taste which is something many guys take to their death rather than resolving. Many men find themselves in a circumstances of being middle aged and feeling like they are now struggling like they once did when they were much younger despite a better profession or enterprise. If they have job troubles due to the separation and their emotional state this can doubly hurt on men post divorce Paternity Issues and Damaged Kids Kids of course have their own problems through marital breakdown, but a mans sense of being a good dad is often destroyed by divorce as well. Most fathers end up not keeping custody of his children and must be happy with visiting them on the weekends if that. This will make a guy feel like they are not worthy of being a father and can hurt emotionally and socially as most people as a whole seems to cast dispertions against them as if it is their fault for the separation and that they cannot care for kids. Loss of Character This is a giant one. To be separated after putting so much of your life into building your home, marriage, and the sense of identity as that of a husband, and perhaps a dad too; this is destroyed in hardly any time at all when you at length realise that the marital breakdown is final and you are no longer who you thought you are. These are a great many other consequences of break up on guys but these are some ones that I and some of my mates have had to deal with. Sometimes you may be feeling these consequences but don’t quite know what they mean as well. Knowing is half the battle as they say, after that you can actually do something about it, even if it is problematical.

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