The Most Overlooked Leadership Trait

Great leaders spark new attitudes within their teams. New attitudes drive new behaviors. New behaviors result in new outcomes. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Not really. It is a very challenging aspect of leadership. Traditionally, leaders are expected to create vision, set goals and appraise performance in order to achieve results. But these practices are not effective if one important ingredient is missing. The missing ingredient is the ability to drive emotions in teams. Business schools don’t teach it. CEOs don’t preach it. For many years I followed leaders who were leaving their emotions at home playing it “cool” at the office. We were role models for stuffing down emotions. Only recently have I learned that stirring emotions within your team makes one a better leader. Expressing Emotions to Your Team After years of shutting down emotions at work and playing the typical “cool” corporate role, I realized I was just scratching the surface of my potential to influence people. I decided to unlearn this part of my corporate behavior. I discovered that being a real leader means not being afraid of sharing sorrow, caring and joy with colleagues. Sharing actually enhances rather than undermines business goals. Over time, I have tried to exchange my previous unemotional leadership with a personally fulfilling and powerful emotional leadership. Although this has not been an easy change, it helps in many ways. First, I don’t have to play a role or wear a mask in the office. I am emotional with my wife and my kids at home. I show love, excitement, disappointment and care. Shouldn’t I behave the same at work? Connecting with your true-self and letting your team “feel” you at a deeper level, allows you to really touch other people’s lives, influence change and receive stronger commitments from team members. Expressing Emotions to Your Team It is well known in marketing that emotions sell better than cognitive reasoning. Your chances to get a sale are higher if you successfully evoke strong feelings in your customer. Sales people create fear when they sell insurance, appeal to greed when they sell investments or use envy to sell a luxury product. As a corporate leader you “sell” your ideas every single day to your team. Your team members have basic needs, along with desires, aspirations and wishes. If you touch your team’s hidden “buttons”, you will receive greater acceptance of your ideas than just by using logic. In each and every one of us there is the little voice that asks “WITFM” (What Is There for Me?). Speak to this little voice and you will find your way into the heart of your team members. This makes it is easier to spark new attitudes, behaviors and outcomes. If you wish to inspire people, genuinely express your emotions and really listen to them when they express theirs. Let them see, your highs and lows. Excitement and enthusiasm are contagious. Be yourself. Never fake. If you are grumpy today, don’t say you are happy. It will be obvious. Expressing emotions truthfully allows others to know and trust you. You will know them better and hence be more effective in leading them toward fulfilling their own work life skills and dreams.