The Most Powerful Way to Overcome Your Money Blind Spots

Hillary came to me for money coaching because she was concerned about her spending, and not being able to save any money. Even though she was making over six-figures and had very little debt, she couldn’t figure out where all her money was going. One of the first modules of her coaching program with me was designed to help her see where all her money was going. But even though she couldn’t stand the idea of her money disappearing every month, she resisted doing a certain exercise in her program. This kept us from moving on to the next step, which was to determine exactly where her money was going. After one session of deep money coaching, she had a major breakthrough, which allowed her to move through the resistance with grace and ease. She actually got excited about doing the assignment! The result? I was able to help her uncover a hidden money trap, which resulted in finding an extra fifteen hundred dollars in her monthly budget that she didn’t realize she had. That money had simply been vanishing each and every month because of how she was managing her money and paying for expenditures. Next, we created a more effective way for her to manage her money inflow and outflow that worked beautifully with her lifestyle. Now she’s able to put on average seven hundred dollars into savings for retirement each month. She no longer feels fearful about retirement because now she has a plan for her money. But we couldn’t get to that end result until she moved through the initial resistance that came up for her, which was her money blind spot. Whenever you’re feeling stuck around money, there’s usually a good reason. You’re experiencing a money blind spot, which is quite common for women. Blind spots represent an area of resistance with money. If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable in certain situations around money, as did my client Hillary, and you start experiencing any of the following emotions, know that you are most likely experiencing a money blind spot. These are the common indications of a money blind spot: •Fear •Denialrn•Confusionrn•Anger •Resistance •Blame •Guilt •Shamern•Making excuses •Sadnessrn•Overwhelmrn•Going blankrn•Stinginess •Over-generosity •Resentment In my eleven plus years of working with women and money, the most common emotion that comes up around money is fear. The most common (and irrational) fear that women face is referred to as the Bag Lady Syndrome. According to the Allianz Women, Money & Power study (2012), forty-nine percent of women fear ending up broke and homeless regardless of their current income level. Among the women surveyed, a third of the highest income earners (those earning $200,000 and more) couldn’t shake this fear. The study states that “the pervasiveness of this worry may point to deep-set financial insecurity that seems to be particular to women.” Since money can be an uncomfortable topic for us women, we need a safe place to explore our emotions, beliefs, and experiences with it. We need to feel that we are not being judged for our irrational money behavior. The feeling of security and safety will create an environment for a breakthrough, which is what happened for my client Hillary. If you’re a woman who wants a money breakthrough, the best place to begin is to stop beating yourself up, which so many women do, especially when it comes to money. This only creates more resistance. Instead, why not give yourself a pat on the back? Even if you’ve made some bad money mistakes in the past (as most of us have), find a way to forgive yourself, once and for all. An excellent way to uncover blind spots is engaging in self-inquiry through journaling. Journaling is a powerful method for uncovering the underlying emotions attached to money. Since money is an emotionally charged topic for women, journaling is an excellent way to explore and dig deeper into these issues, creating huge opportunities for personal breakthroughs. Studies show that the most effective (transformative) journaling practice is to write for fifteen minutes a day for four days in a row. Write about the most troubling or bothersome circumstance in your past relating to money. Write in detail about the incident, the emotions you felt at the time of the incident and the emotions that come up as you are doing the writing. Here are a few journaling prompts to get you started:rn1. What is your first memory from childhood about money? rn2. What is not working in your current relationship to money? What does this remind you of from childhood? rn3. As a child, what did you learn from your mother about money?rn4. What did you learn from your father about money?rn5. What did you learn from your grandparents about money?rn6. What is the biggest money mistake you have ever made and not forgiven yourself for? Your money blind spots are more than likely tied to incidents in your past. Everything you’ve ever experienced with money since childhood – good and bad – creates your money story. Your money story is really a reflection of your inner relationship with money or your money blueprint. The good news is that you can change this inner relationship by overcoming your money blind spots.