The Seeds of Enduring Relationships Are Obvious: Inner Truth Will Determine Our Outcomes

When we come into this world we actually enter it as gardeners, tenders of our own land and fields; who will be ultimately responsible for the crops that we produce or otherwise allow to grow in the garden of our experience. Even the mediocre gardener understands the potential latent in the seeds of the harvest. As he understands the seeds’ potentials he knows exactly what they will produce after they have run their course in the soil.
Relationships are not far from this or separate compartments of our lives but they are part and parcel of our whole experience of it and, here to, we are the gardeners responsible for the harvest. Success or failure in relationships can be predicted and understood by the seeds that we observe at the beginning. And as we become more and more honest with ourselves we are in a much better position to determine our outcomes and experiences in relationships.
Anyone who has experience with the dating scene over the past 10 or 15 years has become well acquainted with the disappointments and failures associated with bad relationships. Going in we may feel that our expectations for that one that we seek are reasonable, and often that is the case, yet it never fails that relationship problems flair up almost at the very beginning and we find ourselves back out on that beaten trail again looking for another round of disappointment.
After a while on that beaten trail we become so distracted by our desire to be in a relationship with someone (almost anyone) that we are oblivious to the systematic lowering of our values and standards; responsibility for our outcomes in relationships with other people is forced beneath the surface level of our conscious awareness and before we realize what has happened we have spent years hopping from one bad relationship to another. After some time in this condition we can become hopeless and insensitive to even our own feelings.
Seeking Inner Truth And Regaining Self-Control
Looking at the sub-heading here there was the temptation to include Self-Respect; for this is the ingredient to Inner Trust and the motivation behind our regaining control of ourselves. We have to come to a point of realization that we cannot control other people; in relationships, no matter how it seems at the beginning, if we seek control over others this will eventually blow up in our faces.
We are not lords over our significant others nor are they lords over us. It is the ego which seeks control over other people; the heart and spirit are accepting of people where they are without any need to try to change or to control them.
As we take the time to examine the seeds (the very beginnings) of our interactions with other people; if we can become honest with our instincts, we can determine with accuracy whether or not we need to be in company with this particular individual or not. It’s usually when we look the other way, ignoring the obvious and refusing to call a spade a spade, that we end up in an unproductive and problem laden relationship.
An Enduring Relationship Requires An Open Mind
Raising and again lowering our expectations of a mate and our ideal relationship is not the path to the experience of the relationship that endures. The path to this type of relationship runs through faith and acceptance of the blessing.
When that right one comes along, you may find in the beginning that you are a bit resistant toward them. They do not fit your ideal of what that perfect person should look like; they are not in possession of the things that your ideal person should possess. And yet, considering the seeds and contemplating the potentials therein, you begin finding yourself irresistibly drawn to this person. But the choice now of the outcome rest with you; the gift of that enduring and healthy relationship is yours to accept or reject.