The Three Key Drivers to Fulfillment

Who wouldn’t like to be more fulfilled? If you’re not feeling totally fulfilled, you’re not alone. In a recent research project I conducted on fulfillment, few Millennials and only some of Gen Xers described their lives as fulfilled. I define life fulfillment as achieving one’s dreams and creating a lifestyle that brings exceptional happiness and inner peace. The good news is that you can control a good deal of this. There are three big factors that drive our fulfillment: actions aligned with our vision; the right capabilities and engagement or passion about what you do. rnVision Do you have a vision of your future and a sense of purpose? Fulfilled people not only have a purpose or vision of the future, but they have aligned a set of life goals. They have a clear sense of where they are headed (or would like to head) in life. Are you clear about where you would like to be in ten or twenty years? Most people I have coached can actually articulate such a vision and create life goals when they take a little time out of busy, programmed lives to think about it. Goals could include having a large loving family, becoming a vice president, achieving financial security, having great friendships, finding a life partner, and yes, even becoming an astronaut. Take a few minutes to jot down what you think about in the future. While often fuzzy when we are in high school, these broad life goals often begin to jell in our late teens and twenties. These goals usually continue to evolve, and in some cases, change altogether as we experience life as we mature. Don Thomas, a U.S. astronaut who flew four space shuttle missions, said that he had his vision of space when he was six years old watching early astronaut John Glenn. He pursued that goal until he was 39—that’s right, for 33 years—when he lifted off Cape Canaveral and into space for the first time on the shuttle Colombia. rnCapabilities The second key ingredient is Capabilities. It asks the question, who are you? What are your skills, experiences, knowledge and abilities? While it is great having life goals, without the building blocks, they are unlikely to be achieved. For example, my wife and Beyonce have similar desires to perform on stage, but Beyonce has both a natural and developed voice that is perfection. No matter how many lessons my wife were to take, she realizes that she would never attain that vocal perfection (she has many other perfections!). While the example of the astronaut Don Thomas may sound like a fairy tale and a one in a million story, he took the necessary steps to be strong enough to compete and ultimately be selected as an astronaut among a very crowded field of would-be’s. He worked hard in math and science in school, got an engineering degree and spent time in an engineering company to hone his technical skills. He read everything he could get his hands on about NASA and space. After failing to make NASA’s tough selection cuts in his first try, he picked up his life and moved to Houston, where he could build professional networks and gain work experiences would be valued as a technical mission specialist. He worked for 33 years building the skills to not only get him selected by NASA but launched into space. He is a great example of an ordinary person with a dream, who then works incredibly hard to build the capabilities to compete and win.rnEngagement The third component of building a fulfilling life is Engagement. Have you ever met a successful person who didn’t seem to be totally absorbed in what they do? All of the highly fulfilled people that I researched had a passion for their mission and purpose in life, along with the actions needed to get there. They loved what they did and continuously learned from it. What doesn’t work is having a dream, but not enjoying the journey. I interviewed a Millennial who said he wanted to be rich and that he could have taken a job on Wall Street. I asked why he didn’t and he said he didn’t want to work 90 hours a week. He looked for other ways to get rich but had not found them yet. Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers quotes the research of Anders Ericsson that shows that many of the champions we admire have become successful through hours and hours of practice---10,000 in fact. That’s a lot of time invested in something if you don’t enjoy it. It’s hard to picture tennis great Roger Federer or Olympian gold medalist Michael Phelps being successful if they didn’t enjoy tennis or swimming and were just doing it to be famous. If you are not feeling totally fulfilled, first check on your life goals. Almost everyone has a vision of some sort of their future - turn it into clear life goals. Next, do a reality check of your capabilities against those goals. Where are the gaps? What do you need to build to reach your target? And lastly, pick something you have passion about. You will not want to be spending your 10,000 hours on activities that are not rewarding. Now, go get fulfilled!