The Worrier’s Guidelines
Reader stats
Article rating
New ratings
Reader rating appears publicly after enough eligible article ratings.
Rate this article
Sign in to rate this article.
This exercise is especially effective when you can’t sleep or when you experience anxiety attacks. If you worry a lot, or obsessively think about future events and problems when you should be concentrating on other things, follow these simple steps:
1. Write it down. If you’re feeling anxious or worried, or you can’t stop thinking about some event that hasn’t happened yet, take a few moments to write down whatever is worrying you. If you can’t write it down, think it through carefully until you can clearly say what you’re worrying about. Clarifying your worries will stop the free-floating sensation of anxiety with no basis.
2. Evaluate. Think about the first item on your list. Ask yourself “Is there anything I can do about it now?” If you’re at home and worrying about the office, or if the problem won’t occur until next week or next year, you may not be able to do anything about it right now. Or, you may be worrying about a problem you can do something about, such as calling someone, or getting an estimate of costs, or making a doctor’s appointment to check out a worrisome symptom.
3. Do Something. If there is something you can do, do it. Sometimes, worry is a way to procrastinate. Often, worry is a way to keep a mental list going, as in “I’m worried that I’ll forget to bring the slides for the presentation tomorrow.”
—If you’re worrying about how your presentation will go at work tomorrow, go over your notes and lay out your clothes for the morning.
—If you’re worried about a health problem, look up the illness or injury on the Internet, or call your doctor and ask some questions.
—If you’re at work worrying and about cooking dinner when you get home, write down a menu or a list of ingredients.
—If you’re worried that you may be fired, update your resume and call some agencies. You don’t have to take another job, but if there’s a real problem you’ll be prepared.
Here’s an example: If you’re worried that the roof may leak the next time it rains, start making a list about what you can do about it. Your inner dialog may sound like this:
“The news said it was going to rain next week. I’m worried that the roof might leak.”:
“Call a roofing company and have them look at it.”
“I’m worried that a roofing company will charge me more than they should because I don’t know how much it should cost.”
“Call my brother, (or my neighbor, or my friend) who had his roof done, and ask him what it costs, and also if he liked the contractor he used.”
“Okay.”
When you reach this “okay”, it’s time to make the call, or, if it’s too late at night, make a note to call the next day.
4. Distract Yourself. When you’ve done what you can, or made your lists or notes, then distract yourself: Get busy doing something else, or read, or take a walk or a bath.
Repeat the above steps every time you catch yourself worrying.
Article author
About the Author
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., "Dr. Romance," http://www.tinatessina.com, is a licensed psychotherapist in S. Califo
ia, with 35+ years experience in counseling individuals and couples and CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for Love Filter - the Relationships Website. She's the author of 13 books in 17 languages, including Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage; Lovestyles: How to Celebrate Your Differences; and The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. She publishes the Happiness Tips from Tina email newsletter, and the Dr. Romance Blog. She has written for and been interviewed in many national publications, and she has appeared on Oprah, Larry King Live and many other TV and radio shows.
Further reading
Further Reading
Article
Live A Happy Married Life by Resolving Conflicts in Marriage
Param Pujya Dadashri and Hirabaâs married life was full of peace, mutual respect and humility. Their worldly conduct and interactions were idyllic, so much so that family and friends noticed their unity and love for each other. For instance, Hiraba would visit the local vegetable market daily, she would ask Param Pujya Dadashri, âWhat vegetables should I buy?â Thus, performing her duty of asking and He would reply, âBuy whatever you would like, therefore fulfilling Hi
April 3, 2025
Article
A Look at Avoidant Attachment Styles and How They Work
The early development of avoidant attachment creates a coping mechanism that forms in childhood. Disconnected parent-child interactions typically trigger this condition. People who develop this attachment style learn to depend on their resources. They avoid deep emotional connections. People with this attachment style want intimacy, yet they remain afraid of becoming dependent on others. Understanding Avoidant Attachment Among the four primary attachment styles, avoidant atta
February 6, 2025
Article
Do You Really Understand The Swinger Life-Style?
So, you want to Play swinging? Do you like the idea of having sex with several attractive people, with no strings attached? Want the chance to explore your fantasies with like-minded people? Love having the intimacy and long-term commitment of your partner, but don't want to miss out on the opportunity for sexual exploration and variety? If this sounds like something you'd like to try, the increasingly popular lifestyle known as 'swinging' could be for you. What's so shocking
August 29, 2024
Article
Best Swinger Websites for Couples Looking for Local Swingers
Even if you don't have a swing club near you, the online swinger dating website is a good choice for you. In recent years, online dating sites have become increasingly popular, and swinging has become one of the most popular lifestyles for married couples and bisexual people. If you are looking for a swinger couple, here are some swinger dating websites where you can enjoy an adult swing. Adult Friend FinderrnAFF is the worldâs largest sex community and swinger dating site.
August 29, 2024