The Date Debate

Single and dating represents the status of most people who are not in a committed relationship. But if you ask most people who fall under that category, they will tell you that not much dating is going on at all. Going on an actual date is now an option, and not the necessity, that it used to be.
Dating gave two people the opportunity to get to know each other. It was an early step on the road to relationship status. Now it is pretty common to see the entire step of dating being skipped completely. In some situations it may seem reasonable to skip the whole process of going on dates; especially when you are single again after getting divorced, and have kids. But what you will be missing out on goes far beyond dinner and a movie.
However tempting it is to go with the feeling that you are kindred spirits with the person you just met, just because the two of you talked all night, resist it. Letting this all night rap session set the tone for the rest of your relationship will have it ending just as quickly as it began. There really is no way to get to know someone in one night, or even several nights. It takes being around them in different settings and conditions, for you to be able to get a good idea of what they are all about. Getting involved with someone, when all you know about them is that they give you all their attention, when there is nothing else to give it to, sets you up for disappointment.
If you are re-entering the dating world, after being out of it for a while, now with kids to take into consideration, you will need to be more creative and flexible, but it will be well worth it. It takes much more time and effort to clean up after the mess of a relationship gone wrong, than it does to carve out time for dating. After going on several dates with your potential soul mate, you will be able to clearly see if they are worth any further investment of your time and emotional effort.
Even with all the good reasons for testing the water before you jump in; there will be times when you find yourself in over your head. It happens to the best of us. As long as you keep what you think you know about the person you’re with, in perspective, you should be able to tread water and be just fine. Just keep in mind that it’s never too late for a first date.