The Meaning of Life in America

I recently listened to the video-taped lecture on the American financial situation by economics professor Richard Wolff. In addition to brilliantly describing the causes behind the current economic crisis in America he also makes the point that "success" in the American culture is defined by consumption. We are what we are able to buy. And this is most obvious in the way we talk. We longer talk about the things we need or have, we talk about brands. We don't own a car, we have a Lexus. We don't have coffee, we drink Starbuck's. Our children do not want jeans and sneakers, they must have Sevens and Air Jordans. What's wrong with this? Well a lot of people fight for these status symbols for the first twenty or thirty years of their lives. Then they turn 40 or 50, look around, and realize that these things are not making them happy. Many lawyers and computer programmers go back to school at this point to become social workers or teachers. Jobs with much lower pay, but more meaning. For those who were not lucky enough to build up a significant retirement fund in their first 20 years, they seem doomed to a life of desperately trying to keep up with the Jones'. Their credit cards are maxed out. They have a second mortgage on their house. Their student loans are in default. And they are working more than ever. And for what? "For too long we have been dreaming a dream from which we are now waking up: the dream that if we just improve the socioeconomic situation of people, everything will be okay, people will become happy. The truth is that as the struggle for survival has subsided, the question has emerged: survival for what? Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for."rnViktor E. Frankl, "The Unheard Cry for Meaning" I continue to see people in my practice who are depressed. They go to the doctor who tells them this is a biochemical disorder which requires medication. (Mind you there are forms of depression which are biologically based, are quite severe and require medication. These are not the kinds of depression I'm talking about here.) They try this medication and that medication, but continue to go to the same meaningless job and live the same meaningless life and wonder why they are so unhappy. When I ask them what they have to be happy about they cite all the things they are able to buy. They forget to mention the price they pay for buying these things. They have no credit, no savings and no retirement. They live from check to check and struggle when they have an unexpected financial crisis (i.e. needing a new air conditioner or an expensive repair on the car). And the things they buy do not make them happy. And when are they most aware of this unhappiness? What threatens contemporary man is the alleged meaningfulness of his life, or, as I call it, the existential vacuum within him. And when does this vacuum open up, when does this so often latent vacuum become manifest? In the state of boredom. Viktor Frankl, Psychotherapy and Existentialism So they buy themselves all the latest gadgets to entertain and distract themselves. They have the latest video games, home entertainment packages, automobiles and mp3 players. They take themselves out to eat at the hot, new restaurant in town. They go to the newest club. They join the cool new gym down the street. They may drink or drug to distract themselves. They may go from relationship to relationship rather than sit with the emptiness. When voter turnout decreases to around 50 percent at the same time the middle class is spending astounding sums in gambling casinos and state lotteries, joining private health clubs and using large amounts of stimulants and anti-depressants, one can legitimately be concerned about the state of American society. We have become voyeurs and escapists. Many of us don't play sports but love watching great athletes with great physical attributes. It is because people find so little in themselves that they fill their world with celebrities. The masses avoid important national and international news because much of it is tragic, even as they show an unlimited appetite for the details of Princess Diana's death. Robert Kaplan, "The Coming Anarchy" As professor Wolff points out, we have become less and less able to succeed by consumption every decade since the 1970's. Our wages buy less and less. Yet we still keep chasing that carrot. Perhaps it's time to sit down and think about our priorities. What is really important to us? If our families are really our first priority, how much time do we actually spend with them? And I don't mean in the same room with your kids while you work on the computer and they play video games. Actually spend time with them. I am seeing an alarming number of children with delayed speech and reading abilities simply because Mom and Dad don't sit down and read with them. A library costs little to nothing and no game will ever be able to compete with Mom or Dad's undivided attention. If work is your priority, what are you working for? To leave behind a cleaner, healthier planet? To fight injustice? To end discrimination? To educate young minds? To ensure medical care for every child? Or just to buy a new Wii? Which sounds more satisfying? If you are convinced you are working for the benefit of your family, which would your family really prefer? More money to buy more things, or more time with you? This may be a difficult answer to face. I know a grandmother who has been rejected by her grandchildren because she is unable to buy them the expensive presents their parents have taught them to expect. Where are our family values here? When did a new PS3 become more important than Grandma's feelings? Or her love and attention? Turn off the TV. Turn off the cell phone. Turn off the video games. Look at your life. Read a book. Play with your children. Go to the park. Visit family or friends. Sit down and talk to them over a really good meal you prepare together. Find what is truly important to you, what gives your life meaning. What difference do you want to make? What do you want to leave behind? When you are 80 years old, what do you want to look back and say that you have accomplished? Find those goals, and work your heart out for them. Then perhaps you will be able to throw away the antidepressants and pay off those credit cards.