Therapy: Can Therapy Be Another Way For Someone To Struggle For Love?

If someone feels the call to have therapy, it can be due to a variety of different reasons. So, they could suffer from anxiety and/or depression, struggle to feel good about themselves, and/or they could have relational challenges.

Either way, after they have found a therapist who is right for them, they could have one session a week. Then again, they might only have a session every two weeks or even once a month.

The First Session

During their first session, they can spend a lot of time talking about what is going on for them. They can then be asked about how long they have had a challenge or a number of challenges.

After this, they may end up using a technique or a number of different techniques. Either way, before they know it, the session might be over.

The Next Stage

Shortly after their first session, they can conclude that the person they are working with is very attentive, understanding and supportive. Thanks to what they spoke about and did, they can feel pretty worn out and have the need to take it easy, or even have a sleep.

They can soon think about how glad they are that they reached out for support. As the days and weeks pass and they have had a number of sessions, their inner world might be radically different to how it was before, and their outer world could also be different.

The Focus

During a session, in addition to being listened to, they might spend time changing their ‘negative’ thoughts and beliefs. There can also be behavioural changes that they are encouraged to make.

As a result of the impact that the sessions have had on them, they might soon conclude that they no longer need to be supported in this way. However, if they were to do this, it might not be long until they go back to how they were before, or close to it.

Confusion

If so, they could wonder why they are this way, and they might feel helpless and hopeless. Still, if they were to go back to working with a therapist again, they might soon go back to how they were before.

At this point, it can seem strange why they would only feel better when they are working with a therapist. But, as confusing as this can be, there can be a good reason why this is taking place.

Two Levels

Before they reached out for support, there would have been the things that they needed assistance with. Nonetheless, in addition to what was going on for them at a conscious level, there was also what was going on for them at an unconscious level.

In other words, there were needs that they were aware of and needs that they were unaware of. At a deeper level, they can be trying to receive the love that they missed out of during their formative years.

A Big Impact

When they work with a therapist, then, this other, hidden part of them will believe that they are receiving the love that they missed out on as a child. Yet, although they won’t be consciously aware of what is taking place, what they appear to be receiving will have a positive effect on their wellbeing.

Another way of looking at this would be to say that they will be engaging in transference. This other, hidden part of them, by being blind and having no sense of time, won’t be able to see that the person they are working with is not their mother or father and that this stage of their life is over.

It’s Futile

With this in mind, if they work with a therapist, they will feel how they would probably feel if they had been loved during their formative years, but it they don’t, they will be affected by the impact it had on them. Therefore, this person will help them to keep their pain and unmet developmental needs outside of their conscious awareness.

So, as the therapist is not their mother or father, and it is too late for them to receive what they missed out on, they could have a million sessions, and they wouldn’t change at a fundamental level. They will then be putting in a lot of effort for something that is no longer attainable.

Another Area

If they were to look at their life, they might see that there are other areas where they put in a lot of effort to try to receive this love. For example, they could spend a lot of time trying to please others and achieve things.

This could relate to their friend, family and their boss, that’s if they have one and to all the goals that they have. But, no matter what they have done over the years, they could see that it hasn’t filled the emptiness that is inside them.

Moving Forward

For their life to change and to no longer try to unconsciously receive what they missed out on during their formative years, they will need to face and work through the pain and experience the unmet developmental needs that their brain automatically repressed all those years ago. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this, they might need to reach out for exte
al support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.