Thoughts on Resilience - Part Three

We all need reminders of the strengths we have. And we can cultivate resilience by embracing these three directives: by knowing what you have, by knowing who you are, and by knowing what you are capable of doing.

-- What You Have: strong relationships and connections to others, structure and discipline, dedication and desire, role models and mentors
-- Who You Are: a person who embraces that Holy Grail of attitudes – optimism, who has hope and faith, who cares about others, and who is proud of oneself
-- What You Are Capable of Doing: communicating your needs and desires, being flexible in your thinking, critical and creative in solving problems, demonstrates genuine empathy and good emotional intelligence, fosters good relationships

Here are a seven tips to learn how you can become more resilient and overcome life's big disappointments:

1. Avoid seeing crises or setbacks as insurmountable problems. Crises, setbacks, failure happens to everyone. And while at times you may never understand what happened, you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Look for that valuable negative information that you guide you to greater understanding and better outcomes in the future.
2. Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.
3. Be patient and self-reflective.
4. Know what you want. If you have goals, it's easier to make plans and move forward. Remember Yogi Berra: If you don’t know where you’re going, you just might end up somewhere else.
5. Look for opportunities for self-discovery. Adversity offers one of the best ways we can learn something about ourselves.
6. Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be attainable. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed and focus instead on circumstances that you can alter.
7. Take risks. Be courageous.

As Aristotle said: Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees the others. Courage without a clear sense of one’s own abilities is foolhardy. Courage without good judgment is blind. It is taking risks without knowing what is worth the risk. Courage without perseverance is short-lived.

It is possible to bounce back from adversity and go on to live a healthy, fulfilling life. And resilience, I believe, just may be the ultimate path to living a flourishing life.