Three Bits of Wisdom for Defeating Shyness

Shyness is a personality trait. What that means is it's akin to a numerous other types of personality traits like sociable, out-going, talkative, short tempered and so on. As such, a shy person will always be a shy person. However, if it becomes an impediment in life, that this trait is holding you back, then simply accepting it is not acceptable. You need to learn how to manage it. Here is how.

Get uncomfortable. Before we can proceed onto the other steps you must first make a commitment in your heart of hearts that this is something you sincerely wish to do. You must be willing to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we all want to keep within the confines of what we know for it is easy. Pushing the boundaries is sometimes hard and it is certainly unknown. However, nothing will change if you choose to remain safe. Safe is not safe. Safe is boring and uninspired. You want change.

Take small steps. Developing confidence requires action so start small. Strike up short conversations with strangers while out in public. Grocery stores, waiting in line, buying food, whatever the case may be. The goal is to get comfortable being sociable and having a presences. As opposed to what most shy types do: blend in and go unnoticed.

Don't beat up on yourself. You need to cut the negative self talk. If you put yourself out there and are rejected, learn and grow from it. Also, don't allow the negative self talk to prevent you from taking action in the first place. Remember, nothing will change if you do nothing.

Identify your areas of insecurity. For example perhaps you are shy when it comes to giving presentations at work, or when approaching the opposite sex.The only way you improve on these areas is not by reading about it, not by studying it, but by doing it. Practice over and over again. Take advantage of any situation that arises that will allow you to improve your confidence and keep your shy tendencies in their place.

Have a role model. Can you think of someone you know who is confident, assured and outgoing? Use this individual as your personal role model. By identifying a real life person who is not bounded by shyness, it becomes easy for you to break through the confines of shyness, because there is a reference point. Whenever you feel shy, ask yourself what that person will do/say in this situation.

Take the first step now. When you consciously take action, it is a personal testament that you have personal strength and conviction over the situation. The first step is not glorious or overly complicated. It is really just as simple as saying hi when normally you would have gone about your way.

Enjoy the hard won results! Put yourself out there. Get uncomfortable by placing yourself into new situations. Over time, you will become more comfortable and will have effectively mitigated your shyness.