Three Keys to Busting Out of Bewilderment with Your Beau

As the Heart Protector of Women I have come to the realization that when a woman feels connected with a man she is dating, she can sometimes end up in a quandary of emotions regarding future expectations. Females are still encouraged today from a young age to allow the male to pursue them, but when the woman finds herself placing her life on hold, I think things have taken an unhealthy turn.

First locate which scenario you are in:

1. You’re dating a guy you just met. You like him a lot and want him to ask you out again, but he has not indicated a specific plan to do so. In other words he implied he would call you but there is no set date to get together. In this case, even though you want to be available when he calls,
you are in fact being tempted to wait for him. Bad idea.

2. You have been with this great guy for months and seem to have a pattern of sorts. For example you tend to go out every Friday night and Sunday Brunch or whatever. The weekend
is approaching and you haven’t heard from him. You’re feeling like you need to communicate so you know whether or not you should go to a party with your girlfriends. Good idea.

The first step to busting out of bewilderment is to understand that men like their freedom. They are not attracted to women who demand of their time and attention. “Clingy Cassandra” and “Where-Have-You-Been Wanda” are not going to seduce Mr. Right with their whining. Men are drawn to those who have an element of mystery about them, which may include the woman not being available all the time. If she appears to be “Miss You-Complete-Me” or “I-Don’t-Have-a-Life-Without-You Lady” this is a major turn off for guys. If a guy feels like he is losing his freedom with the woman he is dating, he will most likely exit the relationship rather than endure the loss of independence.

If you are reading this and discover you may have been in this type of situation, there are three keys here that women can use that will protect them from bewilderment and potential heartbreak.

1. Maintain Realistic Expectations: If the guy has not set a date with you assume there is no date and move on with plans for yourself. Don’t wait for the date. Stay active in your own relationships and social events. Keep your calendar full with fun opportunities to be meeting all sorts of people. Putting your life on hold is never a good idea.

2. Communicate Simply: If Mr. Dream Date has created a pattern of when you see him and the day is approaching and you have not heard from him, it’s probably good to check in. Asking without accusing or imposing feelings of neglect will help him to be aware that you look forward to your time with him.

3. Evaluate: Self reflection is always a good thing. Taking an objective look at a relationship can help women determine whether or not this date would make a good mate. Is he adding to your life in positive ways? Or do you feel drained after spending time with him? Sometimes ladies who have been in tumultuous relationships in the past gravitate toward what is familiar rather than what is healthy.

Having the right man in your life is better than having just a man in your life. As you continue to place yourself in healthy situations, I believe the right man will be made apparent, one who is responsive, reasonable and respectful. One who is right for you in every way.