Assertive Resolutions for the New Millennium

ASSERTIVE RESOLUTIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR

January 1, 2000 has arrived. One way to prepare for thenYear 2000 is to make a few New Year's resolutions.

A resolution is an assertion that you make to yourself nand sometimes to others as well.nn=========================================
CHARACTERISTICS of an ASSERTIVE RESOLUTION:n=========================================

An assertive resolution
**Is a stand that you take **first with yourself**nn**enhances your self-esteem.** The other side of this nstatement is that if you should fail at a resolution, nit should not damage your self-esteem.
**includes **respect for yourself and others**nn**is **realistic.** An assertive resolution is something nto which you can make a real commitment
**Is simple to accomplish

AIM FOR YOUR GOALS AND COMMIT TO YOUR RESOLUTIONS.nn=========================================
The DIFFERENCE BETWEEN a GOAL and a RESOLUTIONn=========================================

Let's look at each of these concepts:

According to Webster's dictionary (http://www.m-w.com)n------------------------------------------------------------nA GOAL is the end toward which effort is directedn------------------------------------------------------------
Many times people make goals for themselves for the yearnand call them resolutions. A typical goal is about losing nweight or exercising. If I make a RESOLUTION to lose 20 pounds, then I will feel bad about myself if I only nlose 19. On the other hand, if I set the GOAL of losing
20 pounds, then I will feel great about my effort ntoward that goal.

So set goals toward which you can aim in areas that are nhard to achieve. If I say that my goal is to exercise nmore, and I aim in that direction, I can feel good nabout myself if I exercise one more day tha
I do now, nor I can feel even better if I exercise two more days ntha
I do now. Each step takes me closer to my GOAL.
------------------------------------------------------------
A RESOLUTIONn------------------------------------------------------------naccording to Webster's International Dictionary is: na determination; a formal expression of will, opinion nor intent. (A determination is the act of deciding
DEFINITELY and FIRMLY)

If I make a resolution, I am making a promise to nmyself about something I am committed to and intend nto keep.nn=========================================
An example of a resolution that is assertive with nmyself and with others:n=========================================

Last August my youngest daughter was in a terriblenautomobile accident in which she pulled out in front nof a speeding car. She is fine now, but in the naccident she broke her pelvis in three places, had to ngo to her freshman year in college three weeks late, nand was on crutches for the first eight weeks of her ntime at college.

I made a resolution that night that I reaffirmed on
January 1, 1999, that I would always drive the speed nlimit on Atlanta city streets and I would always stop nat yellow lights.

Let's look at this resolution for characteristics of a ngood assertive resolution:
***Driving the speed limit and stopping at yellow nlights is a stand I take first with myself but which nalso affects others.

People in Atlanta rarely drive the speed limit, so going
35 in a 35-mile zone makes those who normally go 50 nquite irritated. I generally have a line of cars nwith unhappy (but forced to go the speed limit) drivers, behind me. By driving the speed limit, I am making nan assertive stand with Atlanta drivers about slowing ndown.
**Driving the speed limit enhances my self-esteem because
I feel good about myself for doing the right thing. I nalso know that I have control of my car and if a ncareless teenager pulled in front of me, I could nstop without doing harm. If I fail to drive the nspeed limit, I will feel guilty but it will not nhurt my self-esteem.
**Driving the speed limit is respectful of myself, nthe other drivers, and the laws of the city in which
I live. The driver behind me who demonstrates anger nby sitting on the tail of my car is aggressive, not assertive.
**Driving the speed limit is realistic - after all, nit's the law. If I drive the speed limit, I won't get na ticket (a built in reward!)
**Driving the speed limit is simple to accomplish.
All I have to do is read the signs and lighten up on nthe gas pedal.

A side note: On one heavily traveled Atlanta street, nthe speed limit has bee
35 mph. The traffic ntypically goes 50-55 down this road and I have never nseen a policeman giving tickets on this street.

On day, to my horror, all the signs were changed to 25 mph.

Adhering to my resolution, I slowed down to 25 mph.
The cars behind me were more than furious. For my own nwell being, I pulled off of the road and stopped npointedly under the 25-mph sign. I pulled out my cell nphone and called the police.

The officer who answered the phone said, "You're kidding?
The speed limit on Wieuca road has been changed to 25 mph?
Cars go 50 on that street."

"Officer," I said, "What would you advise me to do?
No one is giving tickets and I am making other drivers nmad by driving the speed limit."

And do you know what he said? He said, "Lady, you'd bencrazy to go 25 mph on Wieuca Road. I'd go at least 35 nif I were you."

So now I go 35 on Wieuca and if an officer pulls me over,
I am prepared to explain in an assertive way that I nwas given permission by the Fulton County police to go
35 mph!nn=========================================
An example of an assertive resolution with myself:n=========================================

About three years ago, I made the resolution to drink neight glasses of water a day. This resolution has all nthe characteristics of a good assertive resolution:
**By drinking more water, I am taking a stand with nmyself about staying in good health
**Drinking more water enhances my self-esteem nbecause I feel better about my skin, my body, and I ntake some pride in choosing water over a soft drink.
If I were to fail at this promise to myself, then I am nnot going to damage my self-esteem.
**Drinking more water to make me healthier is by ndefinition having respect for myself and my state nof being
**Drinking more water is realistic - always on hand and navailable. It is possible even in shopping malls to nget a drink of water
**For me this was simple to accomplish. I see people nevery hour in my office, so I decided to drink a glass nof water with each client. Sometimes I use a water nbottle and drink my eight glasses in just a couple nof therapy sessions. Sometimes I drink water all day long. It was so easy to accomplish this that I have nkept it up for the last three years.nn=========================================
The above examples illustrate two very possible to achievenresolutions. Make resolutions that you can feel good about nand can accomplish. Perhaps in doing so you could use thensupport and help of a coach.

As the year 2000 begins, set INSPIRING GOALS for nyourself and make ASSERTIVE RESOLUTIONS that you ncan keep.n=========================================