Proactively Speaking Up - With a Smile

An opportunity for advocating for yourself by speaking nup occurs every time you begin a new relationship with nany type of salesperson, an atto
ey, a mechanic, or a nphysician.

Let's look at each of the above examples:n===========================
The Salespersonn===========================
How many of you have felt pressure from a salesperson?
It seems to happen most when you are looking at large nappliances such as washer/dryers, dishwashers, refrigerators. And of course, it happens when you are attempting to purchase a car.

Plan the limits you will set ahead of the visit to the nstore or the car lot. Sometimes it helps to speak to nthe salesperson before he/she speaks to you. As the nsalesperson approaches, you *smile* and say, "I'm just nlooking."

If the salesperson says, "Let me show you the best nfeatures of this xxxxxxxx," then you can say, "I'd like nto know about the best features, but then I want some ntime to look around by myself. I'm only looking and ndon't plan to buy anything today."

And then you *smile* again, genuinely.nn===========================
The atto
eyn===========================

Every atto
ey with whom I have met has a vast amount of nknowledge about how I should be protecting myself in my nlife. However, I can get overwhelmed by the possibilities nof decisions to be made that were not on my agenda.

One of the difficulties of visiting an atto
ey is that noften he/she has important information about other legal nissues you may need to take care of, other than the one nfor which the appointment is made.

A proactive way to approach the atto
ey is to *smile* nat the beginning of the appointment and say,

"I really appreciate all the ways you look out for me.
I know your suggestions are usually ones I want to nconsider. However, today I would like to focus only on nmy will. If you have other areas in which you think you ncan be of help to me, I'll write them down here on this npad of paper and I can then make a later appointment to nfocus on them one at a time."

And then you *smile* again, genuinelynn===========================
The mechanicn===========================

When I take my car in for an oil change, the quick nchange place I go to is frequently interested in selling nme more than the basic oil change. After I learned this, nnow I don't even allow them to start their speech to convince me.

As the salesperson approaches me with his/her head nshaking, saying, "Ma'am, you should let us do the super nluxurious deluxe oil change."

I try to hear him as if he were simply making noise.
I *smile* and say, "All I need today is the basic oil nchange."

Usually he/she has evidence to support what I should do nto my car - a fluid stick with a certain color that means nnothing to me, an air filter that has varying degrees of ndarkness in different areas. I don't know enough for nany of it to mean anything to me, so occasionally I may nactually need what the mechanic is pushing.

However, if I am clear that my budget today only supports nan oil change, then I continue to *smile* and say, "All
I need today is the basic oil change." If holding the line nwould be difficult for you, maybe you need a coach to help nyou accomplish this limit setting.

(I also make a mental note to check with my car dealer to nsee if what the mechanic is suggesting is something I nshould do in the future.)

Again you *smile*, genuinely. nn===========================
The physiciann===========================

On the first visit to a new physician, we each have a nwonderful opportunity to state directly what we are needing. I try to consider exactly what would make me comfortable in the doctor's office.

One of my coaching clients does not want to be pressured nabout weight. She explained on the first visit that she nwould prefer to weigh facing away from the numbers on the scale. She also requested that her weight not be mentioned unless her health were in some way threatened.

Another of my clients asked the physician on her first nvisit if he would please explain his findings after she was nfully dressed. She felt demeaned to talk to the doctor about her health while sitting naked under the paper ngown on an examining table.

Both of these are examples of advocating for yourself nwith a physician. Although it works best if you advocate nin the first visit, if you are uncomfortable about something in the way your doctor's visits are handled, there is no time like the present to bring it up with nyour physician.

Again as you make these requests, you *smile* genuinely.

Speaking up to your salesperson, your atto
ey, your nmechanic or your physician are all self-advocating skills.
A coach can help you learn to advocate for yourself. nnnn