Article

Trying To Change Others Is A Waste Of Time

Topic: Self-Esteem and Self ConfidenceBy Oliver JR CooperPublished Recently added

Legacy signals

Legacy popularity: 708 legacy views

One could be in an intimate relationship that is not going well or they could have a friend who is having a destructive affect on their life. Then again, one of their family members could be living in a way that is not healthy or they could be toxic.

Irrespective of who it relates to, one could do what they can to try to change the other person, and this is going to take up a lot of their time and energy. One could believe the other person will soon change.

The First Experience

Perhaps one could have a partner who is abusive or who is simply not a match for them. If they are abusive, it might not be long until they end up feeling burnt out – if they don’t already.

Their relationship won’t be fuelling them and they will be giving a lot to their partner, so it won’t exactly be a surprise if they are in a bad. If they are with someone who is simply not right for them and they are trying to make them right, this is still going to take a lot out of them.

The Second Experience

Maybe one has a friend who is anything but supportive, with this being someone who regularly brings them down. Even if their other relationships are nourishing, this one is still going to undermine them.

For whatever reason, this person won’t be interested in doing what they can to lift them up. This person may have been this way for a little while or they may have ended up this way after something happened to them, for instance.

The Third Experience

If one has a family member who is not taking care of themselves, they could do just about everything they can to make them change how they live. Yet, no matter what they do, it could be thrown back in their face.

It could be even worse, though, as this family member could be directly having a negative effect on their life. They may be verbally abusive or be unwilling to treat them with the respect that they deserve.

Time to Draw the Line

If one was to take a step back and to reflect on what has been going on, the impact that it has had on them, and how long this has been taking place, it could become perfectly clear that they are wasting their time and energy. Ultimately, the other person won’t want to change and, the longer they try to change them, their worse their life will get.

In a way, it will be as if one is choosing to be dragged over a load of sharp objects. This can come to an end at any time up but in order for this to take place, they will need to let go of what they are holding onto.

Final Thoughts

The time and energy that they are directing towards someone who is undermining them can then be used to build themselves back up and to make their own life better. After stepping back and seeing the big picture, one may find that they are gradually able to move on.

At the same time, they may find that they need a fair amount of exte
al support. If there is no one in their life who can be there for them, and even if there is, they may need to reach out for the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Article author

About the Author

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

Further reading

Further Reading

4 total

Article

While I was waiting for my dance class to start, I watched an instructor patiently coach a couple through what was obviously one of their first lessons. The instructor was having them do a “box step,” which is what it sounds like. A “box” made with your feet. It consists of two parts, a forward half box and a backward half box. Each half box has three steps: a step forward or backward, a step to the side, and a step to close the feet together. The instructor was counting out

April 29, 2024

Article

the pursuit of self-improvement has transcended traditional boundaries, ushering in a new era where technology plays a pivotal role in our personal development journey. Digitalization, with its myriad tools and platforms, offers unprecedented opportunities for growth, learning, and transformation. This blog explores how harnessing the power of digital technology can revolutionize your approach to self-improvement, making the process more accessible, efficient, and engaging. T

April 8, 2024

Article

In our continuous journey of self-improvement, the introduction of Artificial Intelligence (AI) has transformed the landscape, offering new methods and insights that were previously beyond our reach. The impact of AI on personal development is profound, reshaping how we approach learning, goal setting, and even our understanding of ourselves. By examining the AI impact before and after its widespread adoption, we can appreciate its role in facilitating our growth and enhancin

March 31, 2024

Article

QuickBooks Support Number (+1-814-273-2000) | QuickBooks Support Phone Number Giving quality client assistance frames a fundamental piece of the variables that add to the general accomplishment of any business with regards to building up its image esteem. It helps in holding existing clients, getting more worth from them just as in securing new clients by listening in on others' conversations exposure. Magnificent client service guarantees brand steadfastness. Each organizati

March 13, 2024