Two Ingredients of Good Relationships

Showing respect is a way of demonstrating love. The feeling of love or affection doesn't have to be present in order to give it. When you show another (or yourself) respect, you are acting out of love.

If someone said he or she loved me but consistently treated me with disrespect, I am actually being their handy scapegoat. Chances are that person doesn't care much about him or her self, or they're holding in anger, hurt or shame which always find a way to spill out onto someone else - often as disrespect.

If you find yourself treating a family member, spouse or close friend with frequent disregard, just know that there is help. You can learn to become OK with yourself, and learn effective ways of expressing the feelings usually locked inside. If someone is treating you disrespectfully on a regular basis, even if they apologize before dissing you again, they will never change that behavior unless they decide to; but couples counseling is very effective when both parties are willing.

Good relationships are not a mystery. In good relationships people are kind to one another. They are polite and helpful to each other most of the time, and forgiving of one another the rest of the time. If we can't be kind to a significant other its usually because we expect them to complete us, or mend our childhood wounds. They can't. And when they don't, out of frustration, we begin picking at them and the relationship starts to crumble.

In good relationships people are gentle, playful and sincere with each other as a rule; then the boat stays afloat during any storm.