Understanding Your Needs

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” ~ Søren Kierkegaard

Abraham Maslow pioneered the concept of a Hierarchy of Needs. The concept helps us to articulate the most important areas of our life where we can concentrate in order to be healthy and satisfied, where our most basic needs are satisfied, so that we can focus on those higher spiritual goals. Motivational speakers today have adapted the original five needs into six.

Many of us can express, at length, the needs of our children. When we become parents, our individual needs seem to slip into the background due to our focus on our kids, but it is just as important to be responsive to our own needs as those of our kids, because unless we are well cared for, we have very little left to give to our children or to our spouse. If you think self-focus is selfish, please take a deep look. If the source isn’t supplied, it feeds no one and nothing.

The areas in which we are the most fulfilled are the areas in which we will be best prepared to help others with their own fulfillment. Consider your motivations in life. Which of your needs are they based on?

Physical. Physical needs are as important as your doctor and all of the health gurus say they are. Your body needs exercise, good food, hydration, nature, and rest. Self-care is tantamount to self-love. If you’ve set this aside, please consider a fresh approach.

Safety and certainty. Much of the world suffers from a lack of safety and certainty, but they are crucial for every one of us. Imagine the horror of going through life feeling unsafe and uncertain. If you feel safe, both mentally and physically, you can thrive. If there are areas in your life where you feel unsafe and uncertain, what can you do to reverse that?

Love, connection, a sense of service to others, and a sense of belonging. Relationships are our lifeblood. We have a relation with our self, and we build many of them with others. They are necessary to build for ourselves as it is necessary to help others.
Relationships provide the opportunities to unfold a higher sense of self and a way to be of great service to others.

Esteem and worth. It is imperative that we find ways to confirm that we have a sense of purpose. Holding yourself in high esteem and understanding the value your life brings to the world are foundational to self-actualization. Could you make a list today of five things your Self brings as a contribution to the world at large?

Self-actualization. We need to acquire wisdom in order to have mental, emotional, spiritual, and interpersonal development. We must have a sense that we are always striving to be our best. Experience and education are wonderful aids to self-actualization. Do you like the YOU that you have unfolded?

Change. Humans need change just as lakes need change. Change keeps both fresh. We must experience variety, challenges, and progress. Picture for a moment the joy of one of your Aha! moments of discovery that allows you to then change. It’s glorious.

Please read through the list again and determine which areas are your weakest. Then determine how you will fulfill those needs as quickly as you can. Use the internet as a source to find a book, a person, or perhaps a group that can support you. You deserve nurturing as well as your family does.

We all understand on a primitive level that our constant growth and contribution to others is what motivates our lives of brilliance. Mothers, in particular, are keenly aware because they nurture their children. Are there any ways you can better meet your needs, or meet them in optimally healthy ways? Remember that your values, and the actions you take, shape your life!