Unempowered Language

What you say is what you get. Have we simply forgotten the amazing power and potential of our words? The amazing manifestation that comes to life when we speak our deepest desires aloud seems a long lost secret. As I help women cipher through the code of their lives, unveiling their own desires and deeper potential, I recognize a common marker in most. The inner lack of belief that we are each indeed worthy of the life we desire and ache for. This becomes negative projection, limiting belief systems and self-sabotaging behavior. And, unfortunately, behavior eventually becomes habit and vicious cycle of unconscious communication with self is born.

Even progressive thinkers, those evolved clients of mine, that are using the Law of Attraction still undermine their original intention through unempowering language. They limit their own future with their language.

For example, a client of mine stated, “I intend for my family reunion to be full of blessing and flow, easily, without too many problems.”

By adding the last four words, “without too many problems”, she intentionally believes there will be SOME problems, just not too many. So, as her coach, I asked a few questions for empowerment:

“How many problems would be TOO MANY?”

“Why not assume there will not be problems and leave those last words out?”

I don’t believe, for one minute, that she intended to have ANY problems at her family reunion. But she has a habit, her relationships can become complicated and challenging for her and so, her unconscious belief system (limiting her) is that this will be a constant in her life. I believe relationships can be simply rewarding, full of peace, love and harmony. n
Since our words are mirrors of our beliefs, it is crucial for us to discern, carefully, our language. It is not in our best interest to be frivolous with our words; after all, they have power. They have the ability to limit us or help us.
Here is a list of unempowering phrases I often hear:

1. Life isn’t fair.
2. There is never a parking place close by.
3. Some things never change.
4. I’m too old for that (or too young, too fat, too skinny, too busy, etc.).
5. That’s easier said than done.
6. That’s too expensive.
7. I don’t have enough time.
8. I’m always late.
9. There’s nothing I can do about it.
10. I’m just too sensitive.

My goal for you, the reader, is to make your own list as you become aware of your language. Turn your negative statements into positive phrases and then follow through with the second step: Believe what you say.

In my house, I often found myself using negative phrases:

“Boys, stop fighting.”

“Boys, don’t take that toy.”

“Boys, you’re not using your manners.”

“Boys, quit being disrespectful to each other.”

My new goal, for 2007, was to change my negative phrasing into positive words. Encouraging the behavior I want to see, both within myself and those around me that I am teaching. These phrases now look like this:

1. Boys, let’s get along with one another.
2. Thank you for sharing.
3. Use your good manners.
4. Please be respectful.
5. Let’s speak softly and with kind words.

I promise you, this method works. But it is a process, a journey of discovery. Our words have power. The greatest speakers throughout history understood this, Kindergarten teachers apply this, we must re-educate ourselves on this critical lesson and use it in our daily lives. Powerful words that give positive reinforcement to the life we can’t wait to show up for.

What kind of words will you choose for today?