Article

Verbal Abuse - How To Stay Out Of The Line Of Fire When It Comes To Verbal Abuse

Topic: Abuse and RecoveryPublished October 2, 2008

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The moment the verbal assault springs off his/her tongue, the natural reflex is “ouch.” Correct? But lucky for you, it doesn’t have to be.nnLet’s face it, you cannot control what’s up with another person, much less what they dish out, but you certainly can control yourself. And when it comes to verbal abuse you have a choice.nnWhat is your choice with verbal abuse?nnYou can let in or not let it in! Okay, I can hear you thinking: that’s easier said than done. However, I’m not sure it’s a matter of “ease” as much as it is a discipline that grows out of you from within.nnIt’s a discipline that says...nna) I choose peace over being right.nb) Your actions, feelings and thoughts are about you, not me.nc) I am the commander of my temple and I control what comes in and what doesn’t enter.nnAnd as I practice this subtle, yet profound discipline, their verbal abuse remains theirs, and does not become my “ouch.”nnKeys to implementing this verbal abuse deflectionnnIn order to practice this discipline, there must first be a real understanding that the other person’s actions, feelings and thoughts are theirs, and theirs alone. And you must honor what they are, irrespective of what it is that they are. nnNow of course this in no way means that you stand in the line of fire and simply take it. No, to the contrary. You can choose to leave, deflect the comment, or merely see it as something deeply disturbing within them. Period.nnEach time you meet your partner’s, your parents’, your coworker’s, your friend’s verbal abuse in this way, your will amaze yourself in the way doing so strengthens you internally.

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