Victims Are Challenged to Let Go of Anger

If you walk down any crowded city street, you will unfortunately be walking among many victims of crimes. You will also be walking among many victims of perfectly legal but devastating attacks – from verbally abusive lovers, from backstabbing co-workers, from overly critical parents, from dishonest service providers, and more. If we expand the definition of victim to include anyone who has been physically, sexually, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or financially attacked, then you too have probably been victimized at some point in your life. (Please note: I am not comparing the severity or injustice of one attack over another, only the feeling of being victimized.)

Some survivors of an attack understandably experience intense fear, nightmares, and even flashbacks of the event. The best person to help work through these kinds of experiences is usually a skilled mental health professional.

Other survivors of an attack experience a different, equally understandable emotion: rage.

Long-held rage can lead to serious physical health problems. Anger that is pent up inside us for too long can elevate our risk of heart attack and stroke. And emotionally, it can create distance between us and our loved ones. Therefore, we are putting ourselves at risk of being re-victimized all over again if we continue to seethe with anger after an attack.

You cannot go back in time to prevent an attack. You cannot go back in time and change anything at all. Your only choice is what you want to do now.

The spiritual Teachings encourage us to respond with the greatest weapon we have: our own minds. We can choose to consciously, courageously drop our anger. We can choose to step out of the shadows and back into the light.

The spiritual Teachings are not asking us to forget the past; we can still learn from it. We can still take steps to protect ourselves from future attacks. We can still prosecute an attacker, if a crime was committed, to help ensure that no one else gets hurt. But the healthiest emotional response for our spirit, for our relationships, and for our physical health is not rage or an unquenchable thirst for revenge. It is finding the courage to let go of the anger.