Warped Thinking: Anxiety's Fuel

In my panic disorder recovery days, when it came to intrapersonal issues most everything in my mind revolved around my disorder, the warped way in which I viewed myself, and my entrapment in a disorder-tainted world.

Now, it’s really important to understand that if you’re in the midst of a mind variance, warped thinking is most likely a major part of your life right now, as well. Because of all you’ve endured there’s a pretty doggone good chance that you’re not seeing yourself and your world as you really are, and as it really is.

Okay - I know what you’re feeling and how lousy things have been going. And, as a result, you may be thinking, “Well – hey - if this mess isn’t my world, whose is it? Furthermore, why don’t they take it back?” Right?

I deeply understand your point; however I still say the hell in which you’re living is more than likely not your real world. Now, you may perceive it to be destined reality; and you, or someone else, may have assigned it to your psyche and personal identity - but it isn’t. You’ve simply known no other way of thinking or being. As a result, you’ve separated yourself from the world as it truly is, as it could be.

And as we talk about the past and present, let’s not forget about the future. Please, and this is huge - do not do yourself the injustice of viewing tomorrow based upon how you think, feel, and behave at this particular juncture in your life. Remember - your mind has been introduced to so much false identity, and it’s taught itself so many sideways coping skills. I mean, it had to. Had it not, some aspect of your very survival would have been in jeopardy - or so you thought.

Listen, all I’m asking you to do is realize that your view of yourself and the world, and your subsequent reactions, are a little goofy just now. And that’s really good news if you can just imagine all the new strength and power with which you’ll be endowed when you get your thinking, feeling, behavior, and identity straightened out.

Now, as I dealt with my warped thinking the A#1 obstacle I had to overcome was the inclination to just give up and accept this living hell as my lot in life. In other words, this was just the way I was, and was destined for a life of being yanked around by the ring panic disorder had so firmly implanted into my nose.

This obstacle had to be overcome if I was to stand any chance, at all, of recovering. And overcoming this obstacle was going to be a little tough when I didn’t even know what was happening to me. I mean, how can you believe you’re not destined for a life of hell when you don’t even know what hit you? And it was still a tough obstacle to overcome even after I learned that from which I was suffering, and its contributors.

I just had to so blindly and boldly denounce the validity of what was happening to me upon every symptom, miserable thought, and disappointment. And I had to believe it was not a permanent arrangement. And, man, “believe” is the biggest word. I just had to blindly believe that no matter what was happening to me, I could escape from the hell in which I was living. It just wasn’t normal, intended, or acceptable.

Yes - I overcame this most significant intrapersonal obstacle when I chose to believe I didn’t have to stand for the status quo, and could make the whole mess go away. Now, maybe I didn’t know the exact path to follow, and maybe it wasn’t going to happen ove
ight; but it was darned sure going to happen.

As you work toward overcoming your mind variance, and moving on with your life, I can’t stress enough how important it is for you to adopt this mindset. But, just now, take your current perspective, thinking, feeling, and behavior with a huge grain of salt. Don’t let them influence your vision of what today really is, and what the future can be.