What am I Doing Here?

Its quite hard starting a website, and especially difficult trying to come up with useful and usable information for you all to write about. Hearing your suggestions has helped to shape my thoughts and ideas.

I was particularly inspired by one email. I hope she doesn't mind me mentioning it here. In it she said that she felt that she hasn't accomplished much, despite raising a family and holding a pretty important job. Something is missing and she is looking for a challenge (like juggling those commitments wasn't challenging enough). It reminded me about the path that got me to this place, and I thought I would share some of my experiences in the hope of inspiring her, and all of my readers.

Some of you have known me personally on and off for many years. I grew up with a few of you, so you know the kind of person I was as a child. Quite shy and retiring, very smart but not really applying myself. After leaving high school, I continued that trend for many years, floating in and out of university and jobs with little purpose or inspiration in my life. I knew SOMETHING was missing, but I didn't know what, nor how to find it.

In the late 90's I discovered the concepts of "new age" and "self help" through friends. By this stage I was suffering from frequent bouts of depression, and had developed a pretty heavy pot habit. I read and I studied, read some more and studied some more, even attending (and paying A LOT of money for) courses that promised to "change my life". It was all very inspiring, and made a whole lot of sense, but I found that NOTHING was changing for me.

If you've ever been interested in new age or self help you will know that the launch of a new book or product is usually accompanied by a lot of hype and advertising. A lot of people get interested and read the book or try the product, and it certainly helps a reasonable percentage of them. Unfortunately a large percentage, like myself in the past, get very little out of it. It just doesn't sink in or "resonate" as they like to describe it.

Then I came across a CD based meditation program. My friend had bought the first CD and had been amazed by it. I started to listen to it myself and, sure enough, I noticed some changes in my thinking and thought processes. Finally things were looking up! (I will tell you more about this program in a few weeks time, it truly is AMAZING and I want to devote a lot of time and words to describing it properly).

Anyway, things started to change for the better. My mind was beginning to open up, and some of the stuff I had studied in the past started to make a little more sense, started to resonate with me. Then I came across one of the best books I've ever read in my life.

If you haven't yet read The CELESTINE PROPHECY by James Redfield, then let me tell you to go buy it now and start reading it today. This is probably the one book that made the profound changes in my life that have bought me here today. The email I wrote about earlier reminded me of one particular section of the book that produced a major turning point in my life.

This section was talking about life purpose. You know, the question that all of us have at some point in our lives, why am I here? What is it that Im supposed to be doing with my life? Something is missing. The guide/sage in the book tells the main character that all of us are born with a special mission or plan for our lives. Our spirits come to earth, our lives, with a goal to accomplish. Unfortunately as we grow older, we lose sight of that plan, we forget what it is we are meant to be doing, and therefore lose focus and direction in our lives. This can then lead to what popular culture describes as the mid life crisis.

Now many of the new age and spiritual gurus believe that as children, we are innocent and very much connected to our spiritual heritage. We live in a fantasy world as we explore our new surroundings and learn how this world works. Slowly but surely this is lost to us. Its sometimes beaten out of us by our well intentioned parents who tell us to stop being silly, to grow up. I wrote a little about this in a previous ARTICLE. This is the main reason for us losing our way in life, as we are forced to conform with the ways of the world, disregarding our own intuition and feelings in order to "succeed".

The sage then went on to say that if we are looking to reconnect with our purpose, then we should look back to our early childhood memories. What was it that we wanted to do when we grew up? What did we enjoy doing? The fantasy games we used to play. I remember that as a young child I had wanted to be a doctor. I was always playing doctor, operating on my brother, saving his life time and time again. I was also a technophile. I loved technology. I was always pulling stuff apart to find out how it worked, but it was medical stuff that took up most of my childhood fantasies.

THAT WAS IT!! I knew what was missing! I had discovered the thing that would fulfill me. I started to plan how I would get into the medical field. I knew that I couldn't become a doctor or surgeon, as I have a mild cerebral palsy, which messes with my motor skills and coordination (you wouldn't want me operating on you that's for sure). I was fascinated by the brain and mind, and had interests in the mind/body/spirit connection. I decided to head into research that would help to validate some of the breakthroughs that new age spirituality had created.

I have since completed my degree in medical science, and had started on that research path. My plans have had to be put on hold for a while, as my elderly mother is quite ill, and demands a lot of care and attention. This hasn't stopped me thinking and dreaming however. I came up with the idea of combining three of my passions, health, helping people and computers, and created this website. This I can easily do from the comfort of home, while looking after mum, and it will help me to "keep my eye in" so to speak.
I hope that reading this has sparked some insight, some inspiration to you all. That you will be able to think about what it is you want from your time here on earth, and that you will discover what is missing in your life. I would love to hear from you, your thoughts and experiences, so please add to the discussion on this article by posting your comments.