What Can Oprah Teach Us About Using What We’ve Been Given

What Matters?

A close friend of mine has an elderly father who is on the home stretch of his time down here on the big blue ball. And while I don’t know him well, he’s been on my mind lately. I worry about him and his family. For the last few days, I’ve wondered what a person thinks about when they know death is near. I wonder what kind of conversations they might have.

In that moment, what matters most? What questions do they ask? What requests do they make? Does the whisper of death bring with it some new level of clarity? Wisdom? Insight? Awareness? Is there some internal shift that can only be experienced when our tank is nearly empty? Is it the one time when we truly let go of everything that we’re not?
Yep, I wonder about stuff like that.

Something Worthwhiler
One day, that old man will be me. One day, people will stand around and talk about my life. The good stuff. The bad stuff. The funny. The serious. Maybe they’ll talk about my personality. My faults. My beliefs. My achievements. The impact I had on others. Maybe they’ll talk about my vast wardrobe of flannel. Or not. Maybe they’ll talk about my (alleged) commitment issues and the ability I had to deflect questions and attention – when it suited me.

To be honest, I have no idea what will be said when I’m gone but I hope in the middle of all the chat, people will know that I stood for something worthwhile.
Something greater than myself.

Oprah

The other night (Friday in Melbourne, Australia) I watched Oprah’s last show. And while I hate the whole Oprah-worship thing (admiration – good, worship – bad), I found her one-hour monologue to be compelling. She is indeed brilliant. And flawed. Unique. Yet normal. No matter what you think of her, you can’t argue with what she has achieved, created and down-loaded to humanity. During her show, she spoke about her flaws, her fears, her hopes and her mistakes. Over the years, she has been much more than a TV host. For many people, she has been a life-coach. A mentor. A guru.

For a person who is loved by millions, hated by some (what’s the point of that?), is always under pressure to perform and is constantly being examined, judged and stretched, she somehow manages to stay grounded. Aware. Connected. Well, as grounded, aware and connected as somebody living in her crazy world might hope to be.

Using What We’ve Been Givenr
Now, before you think I’m getting all sloppy, schmaltzy and Oprahfied on you, rest assured, I’m not. No, I’m not so naïve as to think that Miss O is the perfect, flawless human being. She breathes, sleeps, pees, poos (too much?) and struggles with her weight (and other issues) just like you and me. No, what impresses me isn’t what ‘kind of person’ she is but rather, what she has managed to achieve with what she’s been given.

What’s great about Oprah (for me), is that she’s done some amazing stuff. Not that she is amazing but rather that she does amazing. No, they’re not the same. Yep, she’s done some life-changing stuff. Courageous stuff. Stuff that seems almost superhuman. What isn’t great is that people actually believe she is.

Superhuman, that is.

‘Amazing’ is Optional

As long as we keep believing that our heroes have some kind of special superhuman power (that we don’t have), then we will continue to rationalise and perpetuate our own less-than-desirable situation and results. We will continue to expect more of her and less of us because she’s Oprah and we’re not. Amazing is not genetic. Neither is it pre-ordained. Amazing is about attitude, choices, behaviours and courage. Amazing is about what we do with what we’ve been given. And she consciously and courageously did (does) much.

Therefore, amazing is optional. We choose it.

I was interested to hear (in the news today) that some psychologists fear that a percentage of Oprah’s viewers will slip into some kind of depressive state with the ‘passing’ of her show. Good grief. Really? C’mon kids.

How ironic that the woman who constantly preached personal empowerment might somehow (unintentionally) be the genesis for some kind of mass (self-created) misery. And while I understand her fans being saddened by the end of an era, the very fact that those same people might allow the situation to control them shows that they have failed to apply one of her core messages:

Be completely responsible for your own life.

Standing for Something

As I sat there watching Oprah for maybe the tenth time in my life, I pondered what it is that has made her so successful. So powerful. So exceptional. And, for so long. Sure, her overall success is the result of a bunch of things but when I look past the fluff, the hype, the marketing, the fancy-schmancy production and emotional hyperbole, it dawns on me that, more than anything, she stands for something.

You see, in the middle of all her life-lessons, ‘aha’ moments, shiny dresses, bad hair days (years) and famous guests, I believe Oprah stands for possibilities. For human potential. For what we might become when we don’t waste what we’ve been given.
You and I don’t need to be famous. We don’t need an audience. Or a TV show. Neither do we need anyone’s approval or permission. In fact, we don’t need to be anyone but ourselves.

The thing we do need is to know what we stand for.