What Can Parents Do If Their Teens Are Bullies?

There is a link between the increase in bullying and the rise in youth suicide attempts and successes. It is a particular concern amongst the LGBT community. Teens who are (or are perceived to be) different in terms of sexuality or gender face a lot of problems, at best disdain, but at worse physical and mental attacks, not just at school but also at home via cyberbullying too. Many of these teens think suicide is the only answer. But as well as helping them with suicide prevention resources, as a society, we also need to consider why bullying happens, what makes someone act in such a way and what can we do to stop it. There are too many youths who are;

• Crying out for attention
• Have a lack of emotional security in their own homes
• Are lacking in sensitivity when it comes to hurting others
• Have poor social skills and so act out to get respect from peers
• Have faulty parenting
• Lack power elsewhere so use hurting others to have some
• Lack any respect for diversity
• Have school incidents mishandled that lead them to believe it is acceptable

What is faulty parenting?

Faulty parenting in urban communities is often a contributing factor to things like bullying and teen suicides. It is associated more with families who have a low socioeconomic status and as a result, it includes a large group of Hispanic and African American communities. However it can include families at all economic levels and even among parents who are well-meaning it can happen. It can look like;

• Verbal and/or physical abuse sends a clear message that it is acceptable behavior
• Yelling and shouting and cursing to get children to comply with something really has an impact on their self-esteem and tells them it is ok to use intimidation against others
• Being too permissive as a parent for whatever reason can send the message that it is ok to manipulate to get your own way
• Teens being ignored
• Punishments that are too severe for minor things

As well as making changes to your parenting it could be a good idea to consider suicide prevention training so you can watch out for your teen and others in the community.

Tips for parents with teens

When you have a teen who is being bullied you may need suicide prevention training and access to suicide prevention resources. For parenting tips to help avoid having a child who bullies others here are some ideas.

1. Have no tolerance for bullying and anytime it happens make it clear it is not acceptable.
2. Be consistent with how you discipline and stick to the rules you have made.
3. Try to spend more time just hanging out with them. It is hard when you have to work, but if you can carve out some time for them they are less likely to indulge in such behavior. They should not be raising themselves.
4. Show them the best way to deal with conflict and if you do not know learn yourself with them.
5. Set an example of being open-minded and accepting of others, whatever skin color, religion, gender, or sexuality someone expresses or has.

Work on and help your teen work on walking in someone else's shoes. They need to better understand the pain they are causing.