What Exactly Would You Say You Do?

This is a famous line from one of my favorite movies, Office Space. If you have not seen the movie, I highly encourage you do so. In the scene, an efficiency auditor asks a manager what he does for the company and the manager just can’t come up with a comprehendible answer. After a number of questions and still no clue what the guy does for a living the auditor finally asks, “What exactly would you say you do here?” The employee ends up getting laid off. As ridiculous as it may sound, I run into people all the time who are unable to describe what they do for a living. I’m not a recruiter, a life coach or anything like that but I think everyone should be able to come up with a brief truthful answer to what they do for a living. This seemingly obvious skill seems to escape many but for business communications or looking for a job it’s extremely important. It might even be something you want to practice. What does it say to a recruiter if you are asked about a prior job and you either obviously embellish your duties or at the end of the questions they still have no clue what you do for a living. It’s amazing how often I run into this. I’ve had people approach me about various business arrangements and honestly, if they can’t provide me a brief explanation of what they do that any person of average intelligence can comprehend, it’s not worth my time. The Embellished Answer I asked a friend of a friend one time what they did for a living. They replied proudly that they sold optimized employee hydration equipment. I had to think about those four words for about five seconds before I rudely blurted out asking if he sold water bottles. My directness and clever deductive reasoning seemed to surprise him. He said yes but again said it was optimized employee hydration equipment. Then he proceeded to spend the next twenty minutes trying to convince me how important a job he had. People have to drink so I guess the job is important but the conversation was not necessary. I was not going to hire him and I really didn’t care but imagine if this was his answer in an interview or a reply with a possible business partner. In an interview ,maybe you need to add a little marketing but still be truthful as to your past or present job descriptions. The Confusing Answer I have a friend’s wife who told me that she was a project manager at a software company. I was generally interested because project management was a lot of what I did in the past as a HRMS software reseller. I started to ask a few questions about her job. I don’t ask these questions because I like to be nosy. I usually find that people like talking about their work. Thirty minutes later I still had no idea what she did for a living. I eventually managed to find out that her job title was not project manager but something entirely different and unconnected. The scene was almost identical to the Office Space scene but I did not ask the question. I tried open questions, closed questions, and even summarizing and I still don’t know what this person does. It eventually became a puzzle I had no interest in solving. It just was not worth the effort to find out. If I was considering a business venture or hiring this person, how on earth could I do so? I have a brother who’s a rocket scientist and another who is a tax atto ey. You might not want me programming a rocket guidance system or doing your taxes but at least I can provide a brief description of what each one does. One makes rockets go straight and the other keeps people out of tax jail. My Advice I have a simple short answer I provide for anyone asking what I do for a living. I own a human resource technology website business. Many times this answer is sufficient. If someone asks follow up questions, I’ll provide a few additional details. If I were asked the question in a business negotiation, I would be far more detailed and perhaps even provide some traffic statistics. But I would still start out with a very basic clear explanation and then expound on that original simple answer.