What is Adult Narcissism and the Symptoms involved?

People who seem overconfident or too interested in them selves are often called narcissistic. Narcissism is a thought and behaviour pattern that involves many negative elements including:

• Overconfidence
• Fascination with the self
• Excess self-love
• Vanity
• Self-absorption
• Self-centeredness
• Smugness
• Egocentrism

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms

1 Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognised as superior without commensurate achievements)
2 Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3 Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

Requires excessive admiration

1 Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
2 Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
3 Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognise or identify with the feelings and needs of others
4 Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
5 Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes

So what is the cause of the psyche of an individual to being stuck in a trance-like state of narcissism? Whilst studying as a psychologist, scientists had not yet been able to find the cause of this. I left psychology and continued my studies with a Canadian Scientist and Medical doctor whom also felt the realm of psychology was limited in facilitating long term change. In my experience I have found the true cause of this problem in adults is a grandiose sense of self which compensates feelings of inadequacy caused by constant criticism from earlier adult development. In my time in working with countless individuals I am yet to not cure a case and all of my working with clients lead back to the same traumatic memories lying dormant in the unconscious.

Narcissism is a serious mental problem in adults, As it turns out, narcissistic individuals reside in what I refer to as a “child-like trance.” In other words, they actually feel and believe themselves to be emotionally like a young child. Imagine being put in a hypnotic state where you think and act as if you were five; now imagine that that state never wore off and you simply acted that way in your relationships, your job, and even relaxing at home or in public. It has implications just about as serious as you might imagine for your life.

So how is this “trance” induced? Early in life, children are forced to adapt to less-than-hospitable social circumstances. This most often happens in the form of criticism.

A child who is constantly criticised comes to believe that he or she is:
• Inadequate
• Ineffective
• Lacking in self-confidence
• Unable to function in the world.

These beliefs cause the individual, in turn, to feel:
• Powerless
• Hopelessly alone
• Inadequate
• Worthless
• Empty
• Etc.

These beliefs and feelings are profoundly painful. Not only that, but they are threatening to the person who has them. In order to cope with these painful feelings, the child develops narcissism as a defence mechanism. The problem is, the narcissistic tendencies cause the person to be ineffective and don’t allow him or her to progress emotionally past the age when he or she received the wound.

In order to awaken the narcissistic person from the trance, the negative memories need to be erased and the harmful feelings dissolved. When this happens, the individual begins to wake up and discover who they really are. Even more so, they discover that this is who they have been all along – they just weren’t able to see it before.

With the narcissistic trance broken, the individual begins to feel like a competent and confident adult, with the qualities of being:

• Self-confident
• Self-assured
• Whole
• Complete
• Peaceful
• Intact
• Emotionally secure
• Mature
• Capable
• Loving towards self and others
• Compassionate
• Empathetic
• Strong
• Resilient
• And truly attractive to others and self.

From my years of practice, I have come to the conclusion that narcissistic individuals are in something akin to this hypnotic trance where they believe they are five. It negatively affects their lives about as you would expect. However, there is another powerful implication: the only thing they have to do to get out of this harmful trance is to wake up. That’s it!

The narcissistic person has the experience of their adult authentic self already fully formed inside, but it is divorced from the conscious experience. In other words, the mature, adult “true self” has been kicked out of the cockpit, while the immature intruder has taken over navigation and is causing the person to feel that they are childish and dependent on others.

I have helped many narcissistic individuals break free from their negative patterns, release their true selves, and become who they really want to be. My coaching process enables people who are stuck in all sorts of harmful patterns to reclaim their hijacked Life Force Energy.