Almost everyone in this world is attached to something or the other – to a particular person or thing, to family, friends, pets, work, a typical lifestyle, some viewpoint, thoughts, etc.
This attachment often seems to act as the driving force in life. One fights all odds and even achieves the impossible for the sake of this attachment. For instance, when one loves their work so much, one is prepared to put in any amount of effort it takes, even if it means compromising on our health or social life. Similarly, some go great lengths and suffer enormous personal anguish, just to see their loved one feel happy. Such is the nature of attachment!
On the other hand, one also experiences an element of burden in this attachment. It is because attachment, by its very nature, is binding than freeing. Furthermore, there are times when one experiences some kind of abhorrence for the person they are so much attached to. One may not like this negative feeling, but one can see that it cannot be avoided either. And as we fail to understand the real reason behind it, questions like ‘why is this happening? How can I hurt the person I love so dearly?’ constantly keep haunting us. The burden of abhorrence seems much more than attachment, as it burns one’s own self and their loved ones too, when it arises.
When put in such situation, we wonder whether our attachment is actually as healthy as we think it to be. And we strive to find out a way by which we can let go the burden and abhorrence that arises in attachment and continue to maintain love for the person whom we are attached to? Is there such a way? And why do I feel strong attachment towards certain people or things only; where does our attachment and abhorrence stem from; what after all is the mystery behind attachment and abhorrence?..
What is the mystery behind attachment and abhorrence?rnPsychologists and psychiatrists have spent many years trying to figure out answers to these questions. A number of possible explanations also have been proposed and theorized by them, but we haven’t arrived at an undisputed, scientific answer as yet. This is where spiritual science comes into picture. So come, let us explore the answer in the spiritual sphere now!
Why do we feel strong attachment towards certain people or things only? rnParam Pujya Dada Bhagwan, founder of Akram Vignan, explains this science by means of a simple example. rnWhen you move a magnet around a pin, what will happen? The pin would move along with it, isn’t it? And if we bring the magnet closer to the pin, the pin will immediately stick to it. Now, because of the presence of electrical body in the physical body, our body too has the property like that of a magnet. So when it encounters atoms compatible to its own, the electricity within gives rise to the body's magnetic property, and thus attraction occurs. Whilst with others, the atoms are not compatible; and hence there is no such attraction; just like the pin is attracted to the magnet, but not to a piece of wood. This attraction is known as attachment.
If you tell your body 'do not to go there', it will still get up and go. That’s because the atoms within are being attracted. The body automatically gets pulled away wherever there are compatible atoms. And what gives rise to the compatible atoms? It is our opinions that we’ve given in past life. Based on circumstantial evidences, our experiences in the previous lives lead us to form strong positive or negative opinions about certain people, things, behaviours, situations, etc. These opinions are carried forward in the form of sown seeds from past birth into the current birth where they sprout as attachment (and abhorrence) for those people, things, behaviours, situations, etc.
Further, attachment breeds expectations. When these expectations, for some reason, do not get fulfilled by our loved ones, negativity springs up, which if not mended, could result in abhorrence for that person. We end up seeing the fault of that person. rnPeople appear good because of our attachment towards them and they appear to have faults because of our abhorrence for them. However, in reality everyone is faultless; totally faultless! To see someone at fault is an illusion. If we are seeing faults in someone, how can we say we love that person?
The Benevolent One says, “When we see the world as faultless, that is when pure love will arise.”rnWhen we become embodiment of pure love, entire world experiences oneness with us. This happens when we understand the world exactly as it is, and actually experience it from that perspective. This is why everyone feels oneness with Gnani.
Gnani is the Benevolent One who has no illusions and who, with his divine spiritual powers can break our illusions too!!! He makes us realize that our real Self is not the physical body that gets attracted or attached to someone; the real Self is the Pure Soul. We all are indeed a Pure Soul.
As long as we look upon others as being separate from ourselves, we feel a sense of 'mine' and 'yours'. As long as these differences with the other person exist, we will continue to have attachment towards whom we consider our own. Those for whom we have attachment, we consider ours and those with whom we feel abhorrence, we harness differences.
Gnani prescribes pratikraman i.e. sincere repentance for all our faults. rnHaving understood the mystery of attachment and abhorrence, Gnani then teaches us how we can wash away our past life’s opinions, this life’s expectations, our feelings of abhorrence and the sense of discrimination that prevails in our interactions with people, by doing pratikraman. For this, we remember our faults and apologize for each of them before God, “Oh God. I have made this mistake, for which I seek forgiveness. Please forgive me and give me strength so that I never ever repeat this mistake again.” When we do such pratikraman sincerely, it suggests we are not in favor of these faults anymore.
Is our attachment actually as healthy as we think it to be?rnThe attachment with which all other attachments of the world disappear, is what the Lord calls supreme attachment. This attachment is the only healthy attachment as it is the primary cause for ultimate liberation. The attachment we feel towards a Benevolent One (Gnani) is the supreme attachment, which breaks all worldly attachments. This attachment does not bind us as there is no contamination of any worldly intention in it.rnWhen we meditate on such Benevolent One, the attributes of His Enlightened Soul manifest within us!!! In this meditation, there is no desire for any worldly things, the only desire is that of the continued bliss of the Self. The nature of the Soul (Self) is love and with such love, one forgets all the problems in the world. Once bound through this love, nothing else can bind us then. And that’s the real beauty of it!!!
Please visit
https://www.dadabhagwan.org/path-to-happiness/relationship/true-love-in-relationship/