What Men Want In Women - Sex or Romance? You Won't Believe It!

Conventional wisdom tells us that what men want in women is primal. Put simply, men want sex. Of course, I shouldn't say all men. But realistically, it seems to me that most young men, and even a growing number of old ones, find relationships to be a necessary inconvenience that must be endured in order to satisfy primeval urges. On the other hand, conventional wisdom also tells us that women are typically looking for romance, stability, and love. The conflict between what men want and what women want is a classic one, as the subject has been part of our western experience, ad infinitum. These are the stereotypes that seem to ring true. I would suggest this conflict is strongly reflected in the high divorce rate. But high divorce rates are a fairly recent development. Only after women have been able to assert their rights in all spheres of society and culture have they been able to exert their rights in divorce court, but that is a subject for another article. So given this apparent conflict between the sexually driven Neanderthal cavemen and the more refined romance-seeking female, can women get what they want even when we know that what most men want in women is sexual gratification? What I've done is looked to the most recent social science data to find out if what men want in women is nothing more than a thinly veiled desire to copulate. You might say the lid has been blown off our traditional views about what men really want in women. Here are the findings: University of Iowa Decennial Study - What Men And Women Want This study has been conducted every decade since 1939. Survey respondents are queried about the importance of eighteen characteristics they would find desirable or undesirable in a potential partner. Here's what they found out about men: • Men placed a great deal of importance on if a woman was smart. This is quite a change because in past surveys, a woman's intelligence was not very important to men. • Men also want women to be dependable and financially secure. Perhaps this is a sign that men are now looking for women they can admire and respect. Hopefully this does not indicate a growth in the number of men that are unemployed lazy blood suckers. • Men would like women to be good cooks and good housekeepers. Perhaps not everything changed about how men view women. Compared to the findings of previous years' studies going back to the 1930's, men have changed their view about what they want in a woman. But let's take a look at another study. The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction - Indiana University The results of this study conducted in 2011 were published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. This study surveyed more than 1,000 couples in Japan, Germany, Brazil, Spain, and the United States. Here is what the researchers found about what men want in women: • Men were found to place more importance on relationship happiness than women. • Men felt it was important that their female partners were gratified as a result of sex. • It was important for men to kiss and cuddle with their partners as a source of relationship satisfaction. • For men, relationship happiness was directly proportional to the length of a relationship. In other words, the longer the relationship, the happier the man. It appears men are looking for long-lasting and fulfilling relationships. Amazingly, men are more likely to desire a happy relationship than women. This definitely shows that men's views of women and relationship have changed. Let's take a look at one final study by Match.com. The Match.com Single in America Study Match is the gold standard for having a good idea about what singles want because they ask millions of singles what they want as part of their membership package. Match commissioned the University of Binghamton's Institute of Evolutionary Studies to conduct this study. Here are some of their findings: • Men really do want to get married. About 33% of single males who do not have children want to be married and of those 33%, about 24% want to have children. This is in contrast to single women that want to get married, of which only 15% want to have children. Can you say role reversal? • Men are not really the sex maniacs you think they are. 24% of 21-34 year old men are virgins. • No Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am here. About 35% of one-night-stands develop into longer term relationships. It is clear, from these findings at least, that stereotypes about what men want in women are beginning to break down. Of course, there are plenty of men who still are looking for one thing and will tell a woman just about anything to get what he wants and move on. But there is an increasing number of men who are looking for long-term caring and committed relationships. What is also interesting about the data is that women are beginning to adopt some of the previously well accepted beliefs about men and do not place as much importance on relationships as in previous times. Nevertheless, men as a sociological group have begun to evolve in their modes of dating and relationships. So, there is hope for women who have found it difficult to understand what men want in women.