Every day kids across the country are subjected to name-calling, physical bullying, cruel taunts and cyber bullying. At some point, your child will be picked on or have his/her feelings hurt by others. Bullying can turn out to be a real problem and leave deep emotional scars if not handled in the right way. More often than not, bullies are the popular kids, the competitive ones and the ringleaders who like to display their dominance and control. The kids who become targets of bullying are most likely to be shy and timid and tend to have higher levels of depression and anxiety.
Some of the signs that your child is being bullied are:
* Refusing to go to school and places where kids are gathered
* Losing friends they previously had
* Isolating themselves and skipping activities they previously used to enjoy
* Spending a lot more alone time in their rooms
* Unexplained physical marks, cuts, bruises, and scrapes
* Change in eating habits
* Talks about feeling helpless or even suicidal
* Change in behavioral pattern
One of the biggest issues with bullying is that many kids do not talk about it. It is important for parents to take notice if their child is being hesitant to go to school or does not want to join other kids to play. When you know your child is being bullied, it becomes hard to pay attention to anything else – all you want to do is help and make it stop immediately. The issue of bullying can be resolved as a family and here are nine steps you can take to help your child out:
Pay attention to what your child has to say
One of the most important things to do is be a good listener when you find out your child is being bullied. When your child tells you about what is going on at school or with the neighborhood kids, as much as it would hurt to listen, it is important to keep an open mind and hear what he/she has to say. Try to control your emotions and be supportive. If you react too strongly, your child might not confide in you anymore because they are afraid they are going to upset you. The next important thing to do is not put the blame on your child for the bullying. The victim here is your child and hence putting the blame for the incident on them, really isn’t the right thing to do. You need to let your child know that you are there to help no matter what and not get them anxious. Your goal is that he/she continues to communicate with you without being afraid.
Think twice before you confront the bully or his family rnConfronting the bully or his family might be your first instinct, but in most cases, that is the wrong strategy. Don’t let your emotions run high and get the better of you. This is the perfect time to set a good example and teach your child how to solve problems. Of course, it is very hard to hear that your child is being hurt and not do anything about it. You want the bullying to stop immediately, but retaliating is not going to solve the issue or make your child feel better. Instead, get a grip over your anger and see what you can do to help your child out. The bully’s parents might hear a different side of the story and think that their child has done nothing wrong. Therefore, it is always better to avoid any kind of confrontation.
Coach your child on how to deal with bullying
How your child reacts to the first taunt can have a big impact on whether he/she becomes a perpetual victim. Bullies usually tend to pick on children who are submissive and ones that they can get a reaction from. When children show that they are hurt, that can be really rewarding for the bully. Kids who can’t stand up for themselves or are easily overpowered also become the target of bullies. If your child gets angry and tries to retaliate, it can only increase the risk of being targeted again.
Teaching your child how to react is one of the most important things. Conduct role-plays and rehearse with your child about what to do or say when bullying occurs. Humor can be applied as a good strategy – cracking a joke or laughing in response to an attack may deprive the bully of the gratification. Not reacting to the taunts and name-calling and having control of what is going on can be the best thing to teach your child.
Contact a teacher or administrator at your child’s school who will help
Most schools take bullying seriously, and it is their responsibility to keep it from happening. You could always approach a teacher or the guidance counselor at your child’s school to keep an eye out for your ward and maybe provide them with a safe place they can go to while being picked on. Some schools even have lunch-hour groups where vulnerable children can eat with other kids. Teachers can also try disciplining and talking to kids who bully other people. A lot of different social programs have been integrated into school systems to combat bullying. The main goal of these programs is to teach kids how to manage emotions, achieve their goals and to feel empathy for others.
Find something that your child is good at doing
Helping your child build self-esteem will be really helpful when it comes to dealing with bullying. Make them feel good about themselves by finding something that they can do well. Sign them up for summer camp programs, swimming classes, music classes and just about anything that will keep them engaged and occupied. There are various things they can excel at and help in building confidence. Every time your child excels at something, it gives them a feeling that is the exact opposite of how bullies make them feel.
rnThe best thing to do is always be there, show unconditional love, acceptance and provide reassurance by telling your child that bullying can happen to anyone; it is definitely not their fault, and nothing is wrong with them. Empower your child and make them feel confident about themselves. This will help them stand their ground against bullies. Always be involved with your child and maintain a healthy, communicative relationship. If you would like to express your views and opinions regarding this subject, please feel free to leave us a comment below.