When Relatives Move In

Ever now and then, people fall on hard times. And that’s okay. Unless we were born with a silver spoon in our mouth, we’ve all gone through it at some point in time. nnBut what happens when you have a relative move in, who doesn’t want to move out? How do you prepare for this and could it have been avoided? nnIf you’re experiencing this, I know it’s not an easy situation to go through and rarely is it ever fun. nnIf you are going to allow a relative to move in with you until they get “back on their feet”, you need to set a few rules. nnFirst and foremost, if you are married or live with someone who shares the financial responsibility of operating a home, be sure to discuss your relative moving in with them. You want to make sure they will be okay with this new houseguest and will be comfortable in the new living arrangement. Even if your relative is the best houseguest there is, their life will be altered having an additional person in the home. nnFor one, they will have to wear a robe or get fully dressed before leaving out of their bedroom, when they may not have done that before. Or, they may have to go to bed a little earlier or lower the volume on the television at night when this may not have been the case before the guest moved in.nnSo, do yourself a favor and get their approval and commitment to this before you let another person into your home. After all, you have to continue living with this person after your houseguest is gone.nnSecondly, before the relative moves in, set a timeframe of how long they are to stay under your roof. Never allow anyone to move in with you without a definite time for their leaving because if they turn into a person who doesn’t want to leave and you start hounding them about when they intend to find their own place, there is sure to be harsh feelings between the two parties.nnAfter you’ve set the time limit, lay down the rules. If you are used to being in bed by ten o’clock and your houseguest is a night owl and doesn’t go to bed until the wee hours of the morning, make it known that you would like them to be courteous and respect the fact that you turn in early. So, this means no loud television or radios that would disturb the rest of the house. nnAlso, if you give your houseguest a key, make sure that you get it back when they leave your place. nnMost people who come to live with you will be adults. But even though they are adults, they still need to abide by the rules set for your home. Don’t let anyone get sassy with you and tell you that they are adults and don’t have to abide by any rules. That’s not so. Especially not in your home. If they can’t live with the rules you set, they need to find somewhere else to move. It’s that simple. nnThe goal is not to be a warden, but you do want to have your home respected. The best way to do that is to make sure your houseguest knows that you are trying to help them help themselves. nnHaving someone move in temporarily can be a huge blessing. But, lay down the rules and set a time limit and it won’t become a cursing.nnAfter all, if you’ve done your part with letting the other person know your expectations, then if they don’t meet them, they’ll only have themselves to blame when you ask them to leave. nnHelping a family member will deepen and strengthen the relationship you have with that person. It is a blessing to help those in need. nnJust don’t allow your kindness to be taken as a weakness, and it will be an experience that both parties will be thankful for. n