When Love Fails, What Not To Do

For most of us when love fails the results can be devastating. Few sufferings in life can compare to that of a broken heart. Many of us are so determined to avoid this that we behave in a way that eliminates us for ever experiencing love again.nnThis is tragic because the reality of the situation is however that love can never fail, it is as much of a certainty as the law as gravity or any other natural law. Love, in much the same way as gravity can be used to create incredible results. When understood, the law of gravity can be utilized to make a 100 tonne piece of steel airborne, an incredible feat. Likewise, if not understood, gravity will be the cause of our death. Love is the same.nnLove is rarely viewed in this way although it should be. When understood we see that it can never fail, it is our lack of understanding, and inappropriate use that fails. Let me explain further. nnMany of us, when a relationship ends become very upset, why is this? I would imagine that it is because we have lost something of great value. The greater the loss the greater the pain. This loss however is generally no more than a figment of our imagination. It simply does not exist in the real world. We lose an idea or an ideal, or we somehow attach a negative personal meaning to the situation. The pain has little to do with the other person and much to do with the idea that we are in someway inadequate. The idea that we may never find love again is a common one, if this were true, then indeed it would be great loss and the pain would be justified, however it just is not.nnYou see, it is not the loss of the other person that causes the pain in most cases, it is how we see that leaving in relation to ourselves, our own ego and our self esteem. We make something that has little to do with us entirely about us and the results are suffering. It generally has little to do with us and all to do with the needs of the other person. nnAnother reason we suffer and see love seemingly fail is that we place meaning into situations that again is not true. We may possibly decide at some point that in order to be happy, we must have a relationship. When we find that relationship, we then put our entire happiness at the mercy of another person, an incredibly stupid thing to do. If that relationship fails we lose our most valued of all assets, our happiness. No wonder devastation follows. You see this is not love failing, this is us creating illusions in our minds.nnThis experience I am describing is not love, this is something else we have called love, and it obviously can fail. The solution to avoiding this kind of pain is to no place unrealistic expectations on the other party. Our happiness has to be found internally, not in another person. Placing that responsibility on another person is a recipe for disaster, it is a weight few are willing to carry. Let us work on ourselves in finding this, then we never need suffer again.nnFor more information on this and other related subjects visit Dream-Life-Coaching.comn