When Time Stands Still...

Suddenly, nothing much matters and nothing matters much. The circus of life seems to have come to a decisive halt.

I am here now. Right in this moment. Not living in the future nor reminiscing the past. Not making plans or breaking down the sand castles I once built. I am here. Just as I am. Not straining to look too far ahead toward a future that appears hazy from this vantage point. Or a past that is done with, and whose repercussions I am living whether I like it or not. It is here that I am. In this present moment.

Its expansive this present moment. It has no locks or bolts, loops or traps. It just is. It is neither bliss nor angst. I just am. I know the events that unfold in all our lives. It’s the same events over and over again. Marriages, divorces, deaths, births, job losses and on and on. Reality as we see it, feels like an old worn out shoe. Its so fully familiar that my foot has developed memory of its contours. I know the events are all really the same in every one’s lives. The only thing that makes them ‘different’ is our reactions.

I feel unmoved in this space. I am not reacting to any outside stimulus. I just am. Plans will just be. Life is. Things will continue to unfold. I wonder if I have lost the zest for life? But it doesn’t feel desolate, this place, or hopeless. It’s the truth head on. It’s reality. The inner and outer merging into a togetherness that causes this stillness to pervade surreptitiously all the way to my very extremities.

In this quiescence I seek the Source. While events continue to be predictable to a certain degree, in the world that is captured by our limited vision. It is that other Source that continues to beguile me. I wish to waft in its mystical aroma. That stillness that surfaces in quiet moments. That other reality that connects me to the vast magnificence. Where borders melt, demarcations recede to the background, where the contours and the form of my outer shell shatters and I sink into the great merging. This is what submission feels like.