WHY AM I JUDGED?

Judgment. I think this is one crime that everyone commits but complains the most when falls victim to it. What’s ironic is that everyone does it at least once a day yet fails to do it right after so much of practice. But do you know what’s worse? Knowing how much they suck at it; people still don’t give up (because how does one not judge a book by its cover). Today the truth is when the society has something good in it, it has a counterpart (read rival) i.e. judgment because that’s where the bad starts. On this note, let’s talk about how people like me in Los Angeles and other parts of the world are constantly being judged for how we choose to live. I am a female Angeleno belonging to a community that cannot commit to a relationship (two-thirds of the population). We as a community believe that love is a waste of time (that’s our belief and we don’t wish to be changed or change anyone). Let’s just say that taking the pain, heartbreak, efforts, and emotions that come with a committed relationship is not our cup of tea because we simply aren’t cut out for it so we resort to hook-ups. As progressive as your mind maybe, I’m sure there is a judgment already formed and if it is so, it’s not your fault. The society has been functioning in a certain way for years and this has wired us in a certain way. The ‘acceptable chronology’ I suppose is that you meet, fall in love, jump into beds and then fall apart (breakup is the end to every second relationship in the world of dating apps). The point is that if I’m aware of the tragic outcome, why would I begin it in the first place? Hence, meeting, jumping into beds and then in an Uber is much more fun and hassle-free way out. Some call me broken; some call me hopeless but I don’t understand why calling me anything is important? I love my life; I love the way I live. This is where I found my idea of love while you found it in someone else. If your happiness wasn’t judged then why is mine going through scrutiny? LA dating app culture is all about swiping to text, then texting to meet and meeting to go nowhere. This isn’t true for those who did find love but the majority deals with the obvious every day. Some end up being ghosted while some get catfishes. Hence, building trust and credibility on dating apps become very difficult. Also, with so many options available, sticking to one gets really tough because of the ‘paradox of choice’. So even if people want a committed-romantic-relationship, they have a hard time sticking to a single person because they always keep looking for something better. Even the best dating apps in LA cannot counter the psychological drift that the apps have caused. So, how could we not fall for the hook-up culture? At least it didn’t make me question myself or my personality when someone left me for a skinnier option.