Why are compliments so hard to receive?
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Have you ever noticed that when you receive a compliment you feel the need to discredit it? "Ah its old, I’ve had it for years."
I find this interesting since I would imagine that most of the time when we leave the house, we have made an effort to wear something we like, or something we feel fairly good in. However, when someone comments on the success of our outfit, we feel the need to brush it off.
I have been wondering for a while now why most people feel this need to NOT accept a compliment. My curiosity got the better of me, so recently, whenever a compliment has been rebuffed, I started to ask certain questions. One very honest woman told me that if she did say thank you, it would sound vain. So to counteract this terrible affliction, she would brush off the compliment in order to feel that she has shown she is in no way vain.
I ponder on this comment and wonder does accepting a compliment make you vain?
Another woman told me she felt that when she receives a compliment she doesn’t believe the person giving it actually means it; therefore she brushes it off completely.
Whether we believe the compliment or not, the person giving it has made more effort to give it than we need to receive it. Yet the effort we make to brush off a compliment or even disagree with it uses far more energy and a negative energy at that.
I have always found it a pleasure to compliment someone, whether it is on their hair, their clothes, their shoes or possibly their kindness. I compliment people because it feels good to say nice things to another person and it always makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside but only when I receive a smile.
So next time you find yourself receiving a compliment, you may find that saying thank you is the first step to actually believing the compliment and may even make you feel better about yourself. Also, think of the person who receives your smile and your thank you. It makes the compliment so much more worthwhile for them.
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About the Author
I graduated from the Adler School of coaching in 2009 and have been working with individual clients on life changes, new directions and new goals. I offer clients support and encouragment while helping them to find their potential and belief in themselves. The tools I use are taken on board by the clients in order to help with their independance and continued growth once their sessions are complete.
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