Why Is Change So Damn Hard?

Change is so damn hard because we humans are creatures of habit and have limited comfort zones that have been carefully constructed over time and space. We are so protective of our comfort zones that we protect our comfort zone boarders with impassioned justification whenever threatened. We become so engrossed in the familiar that we even accept the unacceptable in order to stay where -what we perceive to be -“our homes”. The truth is – we often accept the unacceptable because it is easier than imagining a new life where we are in charge and therefore responsible for the quality of our lives.

Fear of the unknown and fear of our own abilities to manifest in our lives that which we only secretly dream about is what keeps us locked in old habits and relationships – even if they cause us inordinate stress and even pain. Really, do we really do that?

Pain and stress become acceptable because they are familiar and we can ‘do’ familiar. It’s truly amazing what we will tolerate – both in others and in ourselves to stay where we perceive to be safe. We work so hard to keep the stress and pain that we forget what life might be like without it. We forget that we have choices and only need to make them. We forget who we were before our comfort zones became so important; who we were when we were still discovering who we were and fearlessly forging ahead into the unknown. You wake up one day and it’s happened… you are no longer the curious explorer and have somehow become the antithesis of who you thought you were. You look around your life and wonder “when did it happen?”.

The truth is, it really doesn’t matter when or how it happens if when you see yourself realistically and honestly – you gather the gumption to do something about it. This is where most of us fall out of the game and onto the sidelines where we helpless watch our lives play out.

So what do we do about it?

The first step is recognizing that you do have choices and that your choices (or lack of choosing) have brought you where you are now. Second, you have to embrace the fact that the quality of your life is up to you and YOU have to decide where on your list of priorities that lies. Will you be forever buried in your commitments, loyalties and guilt to the extent that you don’t have to think about it? Or will you relieve yourself of the activities and mindsets that keep you comfortably trapped?

Yes, change can be damn hard because the unknown is scary. But getting to know your own power and letting go of false security is the only path to true freedom and, yes,,, true happiness. With this understanding and a healthy self-esteem, you can choose the life you truly want and take action to rid yourself of self-limiting beliefs and forge a new path dedicated to discovery of who you are, or who you truly want to be.

What if life was a training ground and our job as humans was to learn the best we can and live our best – happiest lives as a testament to the gift of life? What if?