Why We Fear Something

We think that if we fear something, it is there to stay, that it is permanent, and unchangeable. But this is not so, and we must take a very personal look at ourselves to see why we think this is. When we believe something about ourselves, we encapsulate it, we make it stronger, and therefore more real to us. We see ourselves as one way, and we become so. What we believe about ourselves is how we are. It is just as easy to change your perception of yourself as it is to change your mind. And fears work the same way. Think about it, if you told a child over and over that they needed to be afraid of dogs, then they would be, even if initially they weren't. Because they are being warned, being told to fear, they will believe this and hold onto this; it becomes real to them, there is no other way around it. So fear is a decision; it is a choice.

If we fear something, then we must realize that at one point in our life we decided we would fear it. It is there to stay because we have decided that it would be. So it is not about overcoming your fears, so much as it is about releasing the idea and changing your mind about what you fear. A fear is a conscious choice; it only feels like you have no control over it. One of the few things in our life we actually have control over is ourselves. Any time we think this is not so, we are giving up on who we are and allowing our issues, thoughts, or emotions to become out of balance. We are in charge of who we are. We are not a product of something else. We are forever changeable, capable of growth and renewal. We are not stuck having to deal with any one issue. We are free to change and to let go. Fear works the same way. Once we decide we have control over it, it becomes less than it is. It is not something to overcome, that is imagining it is bigger than it really is and not a choice you made. When we don't take the responsibility for ourselves, when we place the blame on something else, then the issue feels unavoidable, hard to change, or permanent to us. It is not separate from us. It does not exist without our decision for it to be there.

A fear, no matter what it is, was a choice we made. We decided we needed to fear this thing, idea, or whatever it may be, and so we do. Do not try to validate your fears, saying to yourself, well it's there because of so and so, or this happened to me and so this is why. Have no excuses, unless you want to hang onto that fear. Some people like to have fears because having fears is like having boundaries. We set them up so that we do not have to experience something. We are saying to ourselves, if I have this fear, then my whole being will keep me away from that, it will never happen, and I am safe. But does this really work? When we fear something, does it stop it from happening? No, having a fear does not protect us or make us safer; in fact, it makes us weaker and more prone to experience what we fear. For if we are focusing on what we fear, we tend to look for evidence of its existence to validate our having it. When we search for what we fear, we in the end experience it as well.

By eliminating our fears, we become free, free of being afraid, stressed, worried, or scared. We see life in a new way because we are not looking for our fears. We see life as open, and not something to be scared off. This can work on many levels and for all types of fears. It doesn't matter how big your fear is; you have just spent more time convincing yourself that you fear this. Your consciousness works very hard to employ those fears. It is trying to keep you safe, but it is only taking instructions from you. If we give ourselves a different map to follow, we will. If we choose to see our fear as a choice, a decision we made, then it becomes easier to let go of. Sometimes you can trace the fear back to its source, see why it is there, and sometimes this makes it easier to understand why we made that choice, but it is not necessary. For sometimes our fears have no real noticeable route or beginning, and that is okay. What is most important is to believe that your fear is not permanent or hard to release. Instead, it is as simple as changing your mind and believing in something else. Our mind is very powerful, as you can see. We convinced ourselves we were once afraid of something, and just as easily, we can do the opposite.