Why Wishful Thinking Won't Help You Lose Weight

An exciting new diet can certainly nourish your optimism. But it won’t change reality. The truth is, a new diet is nothing more than a fresh set of restrictions that you probably won’t stick to any better than you stuck to the many (once fresh) sets of restrictions that came before it. "Not sticking" is the real problem. And like it or not, until you figure out how to stick to a diet – any diet - you have a much better chance of losing hope than losing weight. As a psychologist who has devoted much of his career to studying the enormous gap between what people sincerely intend to do and what they actually do, I’m not scolding. Far from it. I know that failing to do what we know we should do - and doing it consistently and for as long as it takes to actually get results - is just the way we’re wired. It’s human nature. Although dieters usually start off with a bang, the vast majority fizzle out long before the job is done. Sure, there are people who can stick to a diet. But, frankly, they are as rare as people who are double-jointed or have a photographic memory. They are the exceptions rather than the rule. The rest of us – we “normals” – generally do a lousy job of hanging in there long enough to get and maintain the results we want. It’s no wonder dieters get so frustrated. They keep trying to solve the wrong problem. They keep looking for "the right diet" - the right weight loss program to stick to - when the real problem is that they don’t stick to anything! Just as it’s pointless to look for your lost keys where it’s light if you dropped them where it’s dark, it’s pointless to look for a new diet to stick to if the real problem is that you just don’t stick. It didn't take my thirty six years of experience as a psychologist to figure out that poor follow through is a fact of life. You already know that it's a fact of life, and so does the diet industry. So why do we continue to act as if poor follow through isn't a problem? If we know that most dieters won’t follow through, why do weight loss programs essentially promise everyone results that will only be achieved by the tiny percentage of people who actually do follow through? And more importantly, why do we repeatedly ignore our own experience and buy these make-believe programs anyway? Wouldn’t you be wary of entering a building that was designed by an architect who pretends that gravity doesn’t exist? Shouldn't you be just as wary of starting a diet that was created by experts who refuse to acknowledge that most people do a rotten job of following through? After all, any diet that ignores the reality and prevalence of poor follow through can’t possibly help many real people achieve their weight loss goals. If you’re ready to face the truth about poor follow through, at the very least, you can make better decisions about how helpful a given weight loss program is likely to be for you. Just ask yourself this question: “Given my actual record of follow through and my realistic prediction of how well I would follow though with this program, honestly, what could I expect to accomplish?” And if you’re ready to take the whole truth by the horns, then seriously consider swearing off weight loss programs completely until you’ve solved the real problem, that is, until you’ve figured out how to actually stick with any weight loss program you choose. “No way!” you say, “That could take forever.” Okay, so how long do you think it will take you to lose weight without following through? The bottom line is this: Ultimate success in dieting – like success in so much else in life - hinges on the ability to hang in there until the job is done. In light of the way we humans are wired, following through is a huge challenge. What’s important, however, is that it’s the right challenge. And until you meet the follow through challenge, you'll continue to get precious little in return for all the time, effort, money and hope you invest in trying to lose weight.