Why Do People With Low Self-Esteem Suffer From Fear and Anxiety?

The person with low self-esteem has typically experienced emotional abuse in the form of malicious teasing, sarcasm, unfair judgments and criticism during his growing years.

Being constantly made to feel shame, guilt and unworthiness for behaving differently from what others want, he has come to expect similar treatments even as an adult. This puts him in a state of constant hyper-vigilance about how people would react to him, which further exacerbates his feelings of fear and anxiety of being ridiculed and ostracized.

Then there is the anxiety of not knowing what he needs to do to fit in with the crowd. But this lack of knowing does not motivate the person with low self-esteem to gather the required information for him to engage comfortably with others. He does not see that he has the option of taking classes or reading up some materials to acquire the necessary skills.

Rather, he perceives this lack of knowledge as something unique to himself and a sign of a major flaw in his personality. He fails to realize that those with healthy self-esteem are also ignorant in many subjects but are not shy to admit their lack of knowledge and ask for help on a regular basis.

Consequently, the person with low self-esteem denies himself from accessing the necessary information out of fear of appearing abnormal. To cope with his feelings of anxiety, he may lie or come up with excuses for avoiding uncomfortable situations, which are often many.

For instance, during a reunion gathering, John’s former high school mates were having a lively discussion about the financial stock market. John felt embarrassed because he did not have a clue about what they were saying. Instead of admitting that the subject was unfamiliar to him and use this opportunity to increase his awareness, he quickly excused himself for fear of being ‘found out’.

The person with low self-esteem needs to understand this:-
• Everyone has embarrassing or humiliating moments
• Every human being has experienced countless rejections in his life, in various areas such as during college entrance exams, job interviews or relationships.
• Everyone makes mistakes. Nobody is perfect.

A healthy self-esteem is your birthright. Nobody has low self-esteem from birth. It was learnt at the hands of others.

The best thing you can do to overcome low self-esteem is to permanently remove the influence of past conditioning. Modern day psychological techniques like Hypnotherapy and Emotional Freedom Technique can do a lot to help you to release the feelings of shame, guilt and unworthiness attached to your negative childhood memories. As soon as these feelings are released, healthy self-esteem will be restored and fear and anxiety will become a thing of the past.