Wishing vs. Willing

This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson I often tell my students that there’s a rather big distinction betwee "wishing" and "willing." To make the distinction, I tell this story: I've always wished I could play the piano. Not just play, exactly, but I've wished I could be one of those elegant women who, arriving at a posh party, spies the baby grand in the corner, glides across the room, sits on the bench, and flawlessly begins to play -- much to the delight of the crowd that immediately draws near around her. And I've further wished that there were a magic pill I could take tonight at bedtime, so that, in the morning, I'd be that woman, and able to play that way. But of course, there is no magic pill. And since I am not willing to do the practicing and learning, and all the hard work associated with getting to the place where I could play that way, I'll be forever stuck wishing I could. Get the distinction? :) And there are things like this in all our lives --- every last one of us has things they are wishing they could do, but aren't willing to do. And some of them don't really matter at all. Certainly, my life is incredibly full and rich, even without being able to play the piano, and it will continue to be whether I ever learn to or not. But take a good look..... and make sure there aren't things in your work or personal life that you're wishing you could do that would make a difference to you... that would bring something big and wonderful and incredibly life-changing to your world. Those are the things you don't want to miss. Those are the things you need to get willing to do. Those are the things that matter most -- don't let your life slip by without having accomplished them. Not sure what they are? A really good litmus test is to consider whether your aliveness is impacted by your inaction on anything you’re considering. If it is, then you really need to find a way to shift so that you don’t even up at the end of your life with regrets. But if you can honestly say that your aliveness isn't impacted, feel free to continue wishing about it. Some wishes are better than the reality, anyway, and chances are, the wishes you’ll keep wishing fit that bill. Do check in with yourself now and then, though—especially if you've made any big life changes, like a move, ending (or starting!) an important relationship, losing (or gaining) weight, or anything else that changes the eyes with which you see your world. Sometimes a change can change your answer to the “aliveness” question.