Women, Sex and Power

It’s said that the feminine is rising. While having developed their 'masculine' capacities over the past 50 years since the onset of the women’s movement, women are re-connecting with their 'feminine' essence. However, women are often still socialized to be ashamed of their sexuality. So what can a woman do to fully balance her whole being? What is her role in the planet’s conscious evolution of the sexual-spiritual integrated human?

Deborah Sundahl points out in her book, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, “Society considers it ‘not okay’ for women to be sexual in their own right. Despite a national media that talks about every conceivable aspect of sex, most American woman over the age of forty were raised with the belief that ‘good girls are not sexual.’ Younger women, raised with the influence of cable TV’s new explicitness… have taken the notion of ‘bad girl’ and made a public display of it, yet still the legacy of the good girl lingers, and it inhibits most women’s ability to let go and enjoy.”

How can the 21st Century woman reclaim and embrace her sexual self, discovering its extraordinary power, while being integrated in her feminine and masculine nature. Here are some tips to get started:

1. Become the witness to your beliefs

No change can happen without awareness, so looking at your long held beliefs is an important first step to reclaiming your sexuality. Begin to witness the unconscious negative beliefs you hold, whether it be from childhood, religion, media, or etc. Notice that many of these beliefs were passed down generation to generation for millennia. You can choose to create new, supportive beliefs about yourself, your body, and your sexuality.

What separates us from the beasts is our ability to be self-reflective or aware of our own existence, what we call “the witness state of mind.” This uniquely human capacity allows us to rise above the biological miracle of ourselves and recognize that we are at choice in how we live, feel, and act, including our sexual beingness.

2. Embrace passion and desire

All of us have a current of sexual life force energy – also referred to as “chi” – running through our bodies at all times. In The Multi-Orgasmic Woman, Mantak Chia & Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD explain:

“Desire is a rich and potent part of our human experience… To be passionate is to be full of chi. The English words ‘desire’ or ‘passion’ connote a feeling of yearning and fervor that includes sex, but they also reflect our strongest feelings about life. When we are passionate about anything – our family, our work, our spirituality, an important social cause – we are investing our chi in this experience. Our passion is what moves us to action and ultimately is what gives us joy. We are passionate about the things that matter most to us.”

To embrace this energy is to embrace life itself. As we learn to honor our sexuality, we also can draw on that sexual energy to enrich our lives as a whole. By learning to embrace passion and desire, we can bring more fulfillment and joy into our entire lives.

3. Know your “parts”

Many women expect their partner to know how to please them without knowing for themselves! Knowing yourself and your anatomy is an important step towards embracing your sexuality.

Female sexual anatomy has been a bit of a mystery throughout history, especially in terms of how women experience pleasure and orgasm. For example, it is widely accepted that the clitoris is an exte
al organ only. In Eve’s Secrets, Josephine Lowndes Sevely examines this history and reveals “…the female clitoris has deeper structures under the skin. These deeper structures are the organ’s two legs like parts that run along the lower part of the pubic bones at either side of the lower vagina between the inner thighs.”

The G-Spot is another area of the female body that is still the source of some confusion. In Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, Deborah Sundahl explains, “The G-Spot is defined as both the prostate and a network of erectile tissue similar to that found in a male penis.” She goes on to say, “The G-spot, not the clitoris, is center stage as the area of a woman’s genitals in which she can experience the greatest and most diverse amount of erotic pleasure.”

In addition to the above resources, experimenting with yourself to see what feels good is another great way to get to know your “parts!”

4. Exercise your love muscle

The pubococcygeus muscle, or the “PC” muscle, is the muscle group that makes up and supports the pelvic floor of the body. Mantak Chia and Maneewan Chia explain in Healing Love Through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy, “…With the exception of sexual intercourse, few exercises strengthen the crucial pelvic muscles. Pelvic exercises do exist which can increase CHI in these areas, thereby greatly strengthening the reproductive organs and the complex network of tendons surrounding them.”

In both men and women, the PC muscle serves important functions in supporting the inner organs including preventing incontinence, maintaining reproductive health, enhancing pleasurable sexual experiences, and increasing aliveness for the woman.

Make it a daily habit to exercise your love muscle and learn to coordinate it with your inhale and exhale. If you’d like to be guided through this practice get our Foundational Practices CD.

5. Transform desire into rocket fuel

Once you’ve connected to and embraced your sexuality, learn to use this energy to fuel all parts of your life. In The Multi-Orgasmic Woman, Mantak Chia & Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD lay out many healing techniques and meditation and breathing practices that can help draw your precious energy up through your body instead of losing it through menstruation or intercourse. These techniques include becoming aware of the “Microcosmic Orbit” which is a “basic energetic pathway of the body…. “When you circulate sexual energy through the Microcosmic Orbit, you transform your desire into your energetic ‘rocket fuel’ and enhance your vitality.”

Other techniques can be found in our book, Sexual Enlightenment. These practices include an array of solo and partner exercises such as Yin Yang: Balancing Feminine and Masculine Energy and Heart-to-Heart connection: Partner Spooning.

This is an exciting time for women to honor and hone their feminine essence and play an instrumental part in shifting the planet’s evolution towards balancing the feminine and masculine in all spheres of life.