Working on your Marriage with Good Communication

Everyone has heard the saying “marriage takes work” or “you’ve got to work on your marriage”. Exactly, what does that mean? I never had a class in school for that. In college, I never saw that class listed in my choices. The local community college doesn’t advertise this type of course. On-line colleges do not include this subject in their offerings. The church does not offer classes, workshops or seminars on it. So how does one learn to work on marriage?

When you choose to get married, you know your lives together will eventually include serious issues and major steps. Usually we anticipate managing finances, buying a home, becoming parents, facing career changes and challenges, putting the children through college, caring for aging parents, retiring. We know we could face serious illness and one day face the death of our spouse.

But did you enter the marriage knowledgeable enough and fully prepared to successfully handle every issue? Probably not. Rather, you believed that you and your spouse could learn to handle each issue as it came along; but doesn’t it make more sense to be prepared in advance for each possibility your marriage will bring—to communicate with one another about your personal preferences for events that may occur and plan in advance for what you would do? That kind of “work” can help you have a successful marriage.
Each of you has to be aware of the feelings and needs of the other so you can act with or for your spouse as the occasion demands. If you are prepared in advance to handle marriage issues, you aren’t caught by surprise by the demands of the situation or the expectations of your partner.
Not everyone needs pre-marriage counseling, but every couple could benefit from pre-marriage communication and planning as well having an on-going procedure for keeping plans up-to-date It's important to take a business-like approach to marriage communication that includes techniques for working on marriage issues in ways that assure you will be able to deal effectively with them as they come your way. The key to the plan-- as well as the planning—is communication within your marriage